I wanted to hear his voice. I wanted to say, “Hi, Dad.” I’d lived my whole life never fully understanding my place in the world. The life I’d lived hadn’t been a bad one, per se. It had just been one filled with grief and sorrow. And now I knew why. Ever since, Patsy had told me who my real father was, so many things made sense. It all added up. Patsy was heartbroken for me. She’d said that she wished she’d made a different decision all those years ago. She’d said that she’d had the power to make a different decision, but she’d thought it was best. Best for who, I don’t know. She’d said that as soon as she saw me, that night came back to her. She’d said that she can’t look at me without thinking about everything that went down. The only two people in the world who could make it right weren’t going to. It was hard listening to her ramble on and on about how they’d broken both of us. Part of me didn’t understand why she was still so angry.
