Having been a loner most of his life, the experience was new. He’d been with women many times, and reached climax, satisfied his needs in that way. But he’d never ventured into intimacy; he’d never wanted to. For a while, he thought he didn’t have the ability. Being odd since childhood, it was possible that he was emotionally different from other men. He certainly couldn’t use his father as an example. His peers seemed to bond with women in a way he did not; bonding and entering into permanent relationships—semi-permanent at least. He never had, and never understood why. His attraction to women was never in question, and he had frequent sex, just not usually with the same woman. It was pleasurable and met his need, in a way. But he’d been aware something was missing; just one more way he was different from everyone else. Yet the moment he’d seen Ella, a haunted feeling had come over him. Instinctively he knew that moment was different.
