Trouble was, he didn’t have a chance to examine his own heart closely because real life kept interfering. There was the rush to get Sarah to the doctor. She was miserable and feverish when he picked her up and he felt terrible that she cried in her car seat all the way in. She wanted a hug but he had to drive. Colleen offered to come too, but it was more helpful for her to watch Jack. A dose of antibiotics did the trick eventually, and she was right as rain, but Seamus felt guilty dropping Sarah off at daycare. When the kids were sick, he always worried that he didn’t know enough and that he’d let Sally down. These were the days when he missed his wife the most. Seamus found himself at the cemetery one day after work. He often went, always with a few flowers. He wished there was a bench to sit on so he didn’t have to kneel awkwardly in front of her or stand feeling useless above her. “I’m sorry, Sally. I love you. I’m so confused. She means nothing and she means everything.
