It’s got a desk, plastic chairs and no windows. They let go of my arms, push me into a chair and block the door by leaning against it. They don’t say anything. Which is kind of weird. There’s a knock. A woman comes in. ‘We are detaining you because we have reasonable grounds to believe you attempted an act of theft of an iPod,’ the woman says. She is burly, with blonde hair and a jaw that wobbles from side to side as she talks. She’s standing above me and little drops of spit land in my face as she talks, so I look down. ‘I now need to formally ask your permission to search you. If you refuse, we will detain you here until the police arrive and you will be searched anyway, possibly strip-searched. Do I have your permission to search?’ I feel along the back of my trousers, take out the iPod and hand it to her. ‘One up to the old lady then!’ Pearls Guy says, making a fist and shaking it to the ceiling. ‘Wait till the end of the day, Playstation Kid is gonna race up the board,’ says his skinnier mate.
