I give out my presents and all I get are mumbles from Da, a kiss from Granny and a pat on the head from Ma. There are no hugs or excitement from anyone except me. I get a bike with streamers. It’s a red Chopper. I could faint like a girl. I get an Etch A Sketch, a car that moves with batteries, an itchy pair of gloves and a scarf knitted by Granny. I also get a Cadbury’s stocking stuffed with chocolate, an Action Man with a truck and a change of clothes. I am very happy with my loot, especially the chocolates in the stocking. You can never have enough chocolate on Christmas Day. Da got Ma a coat. She said it was lovely. ‘That’s lovely, Brian,’ she says. ‘Thank you very much,’ and then she folds it onto the floor. Da got Granny a blender, which she went mad for, and Ma got Da a shaver because Da has grown a beard and Ma hates it and so it was less of a present and more of a hint. Granny and Ma got each other the same thing because they cheated and went to Woolworths together.
