When you called me,” Jared asked as he and Fenix lay curled together on their bed after making love. Jared couldn't stop touching Fenix – he ran his hands all over his smooth skin as they talked. Fenix didn’t answer immediately and, even in the dim light, Jared could see a slight blush covering his cheekbones. He was biting his lip, not meeting Jared’s eyes. “Fen?” Jared said, suddenly alert and worried. He tucked a finger under Fenix’s chin and raised his face to look into his eyes. They were the same haunted blue as when Jared had seen him make his acceptance speech. “You can tell me anything, love. I won't judge you or love you any less. I don't want you to feel like you need to have secrets from me.” Fenix nodded and swallowed a few times before speaking. “After the speech, when I went backstage, I was holding the Tony, and I’d never felt more lost. I knew I needed to be fucking ecstatic. I’d done it. I should be proud and happy. But I wasn’t, and...” he paused to take a few breaths.
