How I Won The Yellow Jumper (2011) - Plot & Excerpts
‘Which member of the Royal Family has just got married?’ Charles? Andrew? The other one? Princess Michael? Before my eyes a procession of generic Windsors swam, some tethering horses and dressed in Barbours and headscarves, some galumphing around in helicopter pilot gear, maps visible in see-through pouches over the knees. Bald spots, ears and grins. Harry, Marry, Wills and Testaments. No idea. ‘No idea.’ I shook my head. More to confirm to myself than anyone else that I had no idea . . . feeling that a visual cue like a shake of the head would help my sliding cognitive powers understand that I could no longer understand what was being asked of me or why it might be being asked. ‘I’m sorry’, I said. I was. My hands kept moving to my bike helmet. Flat-spotted at the front, and split. Grazed through to the polystyrene all along the left-hand side. It lay upturned like a condemned turtle on the trolley next to me.
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