I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have To Kill You (2006) - Plot & Excerpts
Cammie Morgan is a student at the Gallagher Academy for Exceptional Women, she is also daughter of the head mistress, and known as The Chameleon for her tailing abilities. She is extremely intelligent, and seems to be very sentimental and loyal. Sadly all of these smarts completely disappear in the presence of a male. When a boy catches her getting a bottle out of a trash can (she needed it for proof of a mission accomplished) she starts rambling about a non-existent cat who loves to play with bottles but broke her last one and ended up with glass in her paw. WHAT?? I think the poor girl goes momentarily retarded. Either way she is the typical leader of her little clan of friends/spies.Bex and Liz act as Cammie's best friends (i.e. cliche muscle and bookworm respectively). They both have their quirks but are totally stuck in their supposed personalities. They never seem to grow throughout the book, and remain pretty one dimensional throughout. The new girl Macey, a daughter of a Senator, descendant of the schools namesake, and general bad girl who bounced from prep school to prep school throughout her life wears a caret and a half nose ring that one girl claims looks "like a twenty thousand dollar zit"!"It was almost normal - or as close to normal as three geniuses, a cosmetics-heiress-slash-senator's daughter, and a secret agent in a Ford Taurus could be." That basically sums up the characters, and their attempts at camouflage perfectly.The plot though is basically about Cammie 'the spy' meeting Josh 'the normal boy' (the stereotypical nothing interesting about him, boy next door, Normal with a capital N kind of normal) and trying to make herself fit into both the spy world and the suburban-Martha Stewart world. It doesn't exactly work. Hell, the girl meets the boy, tells her BFF's about it, and then they all decide they must spy on the kid (including looking up his fingerprints and breaking into his house) to make sure he isn't a 'honeypot' or enemy spy attempting to romance his way into their world and their secrets. What?? This girl just went from intelligent super spy to creepy ass stalker in less than a week. And holy crap the girl compares waiting 2 weeks before stalking the boy again (after stealing his garbage!) to having your biological clock tick! Not to mention to do all this spying on the kid and setting up meetings with him they are breaking all kinds of school rules and sneaking out of a government facility school that is more secure than Fort Knox which is overseen by some of the best spies in the business. Really? And seriously, her mother is the headmistress, I think she knows about all of these 'secret' passages Cammie keeps using to sneak in and out of the school.Yes, this book is supposed to be written as a 15 year old girl as it is supposed to be her 'mission report' but instead of the style being fun it was just kind of annoying. Carter always adds Cammie's internal dialog at the end of sentences in italics or caps with exclamation points and even could be in parenthesis. So her thoughts always seem to conclude with This is seriously NOT GOOD! Even more annoying is that not only do these super smart girl spies not curse (except for Macey), but they refer to these kinds of words as 'the B word'. Really?? Come on. These are 15 year old girls. Super smart girl spies or not I am sure they still curse like sailors when not in front of parents/teachers. I knew private school kids. If any of them were to refer to the word Bitch as 'the B word' they would be looked at like an idiot by their peers. And of course Cammie follows up describing this incident by telling the readers in parenthesis "(Yeah, that's right, she [Macey:] called Bex the B word.)"There were things I did love like the aspects of the school. For instance, the language of the day would be announced. Meaning all conversation during meal times had to take place in that language for the day. Of course this does lead to some dialog issues as characters speak to one another in French or Swahili (neither of which are in my repertoire) and then have to be explained by Cammie through her thoughts and internal reactions. Classes at the school involve things like covert ops, cultures of the world, and cultures and assimilation techniques. And in their Covert Ops class things aren't sugar coated. They talk about torture, death, the whole 9 yards. Which while realistic was a bit out of place since the rest of the book was so cheerful and bouncy.It was a fast read, but just came across pretty juvenile. Instead of being for 15-16 year olds it seemed more aimed at 10-12 year olds. (And I'm sure that is who Disney will market too should this actually be made into a movie although I don't deny it would make a cute kid movie.) All in all it was an easy easy, and got more enjoyable towards the end, but if you want to read Ally Carter I suggest reading Heist Society which is much better.
Yes. I'm a full grown adult. Yes, I thought this was pretty freaking awesome! Don't laugh at me!! *scowls*These are the kinds of books I turn to when I want something fun and silly; a change of pace. A high-school-drama-filled book that I can read and enjoy without the need to use my brain a whole lot. It doesn't claim to be a deeply significant story that will blow your mind with its complexity. It's a relatively straightforward plot, but with all kinds of shameless fun, plenty of humor, an adorable romance, and of course, cool gadgets. Welcome to spy school!"Every time I caught a glance at the world around us, I saw another year of my life flash before my eyes."Cammie, spy in training, is witty, smart, independent, yet clueless when it comes to boys. She's the perfect protagonist for this story. She got me laughing at her ridiculous antics and hilarious inner (sometimes outer) dialogue. Obviously, being a teenager, she makes plenty of dumb decisions especially when it comes to a boy she likes. However, her own logic is intelligent enough to make it rather amusing instead of annoying. Alongside Cammie we've got a truly fantastic cast of supporting characters who are well-rendered with relevant roles and loud personalities. Friends, family, teachers, classmates, outsiders; there's a big bunch of colorful characters which I think is the main reason why I enjoyed this rather fluffy plot so much. The spy elements in the story are kept fairly simple. We do see the characters in spy-mode, but it's nothing that got me taking notes (yet. - Hey, you never know!). I found this book to be more of an introduction to the spy-school. We begin to uncover the secrets behind Gallagher Academy, which is thought to be a school for privileged elites, but instead, brims with magical possibilities and secret passageways. Oh, and martial arts training!! Boarding school stories are a guilty pleasure of mine. It's unfamiliar territory for me in my small town, nowhere, Canada; I find myself enchanted by their mystique. Since I know we've only just scratched the surface of this uncanny school, I'm particularly looking forward to digging deeper inside its walls, as well as its inhabitants. This first book in the Gallagher Girls series has a plot that concentrates more on the cute, though predictable, romance between the protagonist and an outsider who has no idea what he's getting into.Strangely, with this said, regardless of how different both series obviously are, I kept being reminded of Harry Potter. The magical, secretive school, the large cast of sparkling personalities; evidently this series is quite a bit more frivolous and lighthearted (at least so far), but the vibe I get from it feels similar. Fun and quirky, immature at times, implausible yet entertaining, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You - which by the way I have to admit I love the titles in this series - is a delightful escape from reality. Yes it's written for young'uns, but damn it, I had fun too!--For more of my reviews, visit my blog at Xpresso Reads
What do You think about I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have To Kill You (2006)?
This book was really good and I know I am going to read the second one!!! The main character's name is Cammie Morgan and the review says she goes to a "genius" school, which is actually a spy school, called Gallagher Academy. She learns/knows how to speak 14 different languages fluently, and she can kill a man in 7 different ways!!! But, the one thing Gallagher hasn't prepared her for is how to deal with an ordinary boy who thinks you're an ordinary girl that she falls for. Ugh!!!!!!!! I started reading Cross My Heart and Hope to Spy and it's sooo boring!!!!!!!!
—A(:
Okay, I was never expecting much from this book, especially after I saw that it had been optioned for a film by Disney. But I was hoping for some James Bond/Cody Banks/Spy Kids action.This book is about Cammie Morgan, a student at the elite Gallagher Academy, which is essentially an all-girl school for spies. Cammie is a pretty normal student at Gallagher, besides the fact that her mother is the headmistress, and she has a reputation for being "the Chameleon." Cammie knows fourteen languages and how to kill a man with a piece of uncooked spaghetti, but when it comes to boys, she's clueless. However, some boy advice will come in handy when she starts up a secret relationship with a normal boy- who thinks she is just a normal girl.This book was cute. Nothing more than that. It had some humor, not enough to make me laugh out loud, but enough to keep the mood light. That's the thing, I thought this book was TOO light. I never really bought in to any conflict. Don't you think in a book about spies, there should be some bad guys? Essentially, this book is about a girl who meets a boy. The spy stuff is just kind of tacked on. Cammie seemed more like a normal girl than a genius. But she did have a level head on her shoulders. But of course, all her friends wer super-model gorgeous while she is average looking. And she is the one with the boyfriend. Right. The characters and plot were all just a bit bland for me. Not much action to speak of. That was a tad disappointing. But there was some genuine guy advice, which readers will appreciate.I don't know. It's cute, light, and I'm sure tweenage girls will eat it up. I won't read the sequels though unless they fall into my hands.
—Morgan F
*3.5 stars*This was a pretty good book. It was good enough that I'm going to read the next one probably sometime this week. I did have some issues with it though. There was a bit of language in it, the mention of "the b word" several times, but it's never spelled out. There were also a few sexual references that made me a little uncomfortable. The actual, physical, romance part doesn't go farther than a kiss. Some of the characters seemed a little shallow to me, and I didn't really get Macey's character. Like, she was all rude and everybody hated her at the beginning, but then suddenly they're all besties? What did I miss? I really like Bex though. I think she's my favorite character. And I wished there was a little more spying, and a little less romance. But even with all that said, I did enjoy the book quite a lot. I'd say it's good for ages 12 and up. Because there were a few inappropriate parts, I don't think it would be good for younger kids.
—Madi
