Hey, when you have eighty friends (you heard right, eighty, EIGHT-ZERO) there is pressure to perform. Sometimes I get three or four ‘likes’ from one posting (Yes, you heard right again). I used to have a Twitter account, but I realized it wasn’t just to send electronic Haiku messages and it lost all of its coolness for me. If you like my Facebook posts, you agree that I can access your public profile, friend list, dental records, current city, nude baby pictures, birthday, the video you made with your last “special friend,” personal descriptions, social security number, likes and your friends’ interests, that key under the mat, photos you have posted, footage from your appearance on Cops, songs you have listened to or shared, images from your toenail fungus removal procedure and the size of any recently purchased undergarments. Remember when we had AOL dial-up in the late 90’s and would wait patiently for that super-cute image of ten frisky kittens in a basket to appear? Or we would wash the car while we waited to download that short video of a skateboarding teen leaving his testicles behind when he attempted the slide-down-the-handrail trick?
