I took a cab back home. I wanted to put distance between us quickly. I hated the judgment in his voice. Especially after what we’d done. I’d exposed myself physically and emotionally, only for him to fling my bad behavior at me. I stewed the rest of the day, and my phone remained ominously silent. Maybe now that he’d gotten fucking me out of the way, we could get back to reality. Anger circled around the raw vulnerability I had when I was with him. I wanted to wipe it out, bury it deep. But how could I when he had me pinned that way, stripping me with his own honesty? He’d said he loved me. If he’d been anyone else, I wouldn’t have believed him. I believed him. I had no doubts that he was falling as hard and fast as I was. Yet, the hours of silence had me unsettled. I had no idea what he was thinking now, and I hated that I was on the defensive now. I sat with the rejection¸ slowly turning it to self-assurance, that I could stay ahead of this.
