Punching Tom Hanks: Dropkicking Gorillas And Pummeling Zombified Ex-Presidents---A Guide To Beating Up Anything - Plot & Excerpts
Chances are fairly good you actually are one. If that’s true, chances are even greater that you’ve angered one. When push comes to shove—as it always does—the following information will prove to be quite valuable to you. Not, like, more valuable than gold or anything. I mean you won’t be able to barter with it, or turn it into jewelry, but valuable nonetheless. God! Stop comparing everything to gold already. HOW TO BEAT UP A MAN HANDCUFFED TO A STAINLESS-STEEL BRIEFCASE Here’s a random tactic you should try sometime. It actually works with most of the entries in this book. Climb up a tree not far from where you know your quarry will be walking. Then, when they walk by, unexpectedly jump out of the tree, landing on top of them. Jumping out of a tree is not as easy as it sounds. People in movies seem to have the uncanny ability to predict where people will walk, so they pull this move off quite often. I suppose you could overhear your quarry talking in a cafe saying something like: “Oh, the maple tree?
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