I feel like screaming, or breaking down and crying, but I’m too furious to do either. She was married? How could she be married to this man and nobody knew about it, not even Matt! Was she married to Adam when she married Matt? Was my sister a bigamist? Even thinking of the word makes me feel slightly sick. She was going to go with him, leave Matt and flee the country, but she didn’t and Adam went without her. If he loved her that much, then why would he leave without her? Was he the reason my sister killed herself? And where was he now? On the other side of the world acting like nothing happened, that's where. I arrive in the city and head towards the wine bar that Lola works in. I need to speak to her. Surely she will know who Adam is. She had been in Australia with Jess for almost a year, but I’d never heard her mention him either, even after Jess died. I walk into the pub and head straight to the bar. I could kill for a glass of red wine, but resist the temptation. I didn’t touch a drop of alcohol all the time that I was pregnant with Josh, and I don’t intend to with this pregnancy, either.
