I breathed gently, trying to calm my heart, which was starting to hurt it'd been beating so hard and fast. Ace and Georgie were asleep. It was easy to tell with Georgie as she snored. Ace's leg was hanging out of the bed in such a weird way that she had to be deep in sleep. Micki had gone into the bathroom about fifteen minutes ago and still hadn't come out. I'd seen a book under her arm as she'd crept past. It would've been a diary for sure. That's the sort of thing twelve-year-olds did. No doubt she was writing about what a fantastic score her team got in the relays blah blah blah and how hopeless my team was and how I totally stuffed up. I could feel my fingernails digging into my palms my fists were clenched so tight. But I liked the pain. I needed it. I deserved it. The pain was the only way to make the bad thoughts disappear. The first time was the hardest. I'd been looking at the scissors a while before the thought came into my head. Before that I'd been trying to block out the sound of Georgie banging on the toilet door every three seconds, asking me if I was okay.
