I can’t, and honestly, I don’t really want to. I guess it took having someone I love almost get killed because of me to kill my bloodlust. Or at least tamp it down. It’s been almost two weeks now, and I haven’t felt the urge. What I have felt is guilt. Ellie and I are working our way back to where we were again, but it hasn’t been easy. She still lets me hold her hand, and even kiss her, but there’s been no more sleepovers, or really seeing each other outside of work unless our friends are around. I know she’s hurt, and scared, and I hate it. I’m hoping I can make us both feel at least a little bit better today. It’s our day off, and I’m finally giving her the date I promised. I didn’t tell her where we’re going, just to dress casually. She’s waiting outside of her townhome when I get there, and I hate it. She won’t even let me come in to get her. I still have my key, but I won’t use it again until I know she wants me to. She stands up from the step she was on and walks to my car.
