She’d grown up in Alvin, Texas, living in a double-wide next to her daddy’s auto body shop. She raced moto-cross and dirt track stock cars, and got a job straight out of high school driving a dump truck for Owens Excavating. Two years down the road she married the owner’s son, Buster Owens, and since they didn’t have any luck getting Wilma pregnant, she kept driving the dump truck. After twenty-six years of marriage and dump truck driving, Wilma divorced Buster, citing terminal boredom. She got a couple double-D implants that perked up her boobs, joined a spin class, and set out on what she’d named The Big Adventure. Nine years into The Big Adventure, Wilma was finding it hard to get a job driving heavy equipment what with the economy in the toilet and her not belonging to a union. She’d had a short stint flying tourists over the Everglades until she crashed her plane in the swamp and it was discovered she wasn’t licensed to fly. Ditto the job she wrangled flying a helicopter, spraying toxic chemicals over mosquito-infested Port Charlotte.
