Things My Girlfriend And I Have Argued About - Plot & Excerpts
If you have a moment, go and look in your freezer. That's how Margret stocks our freezer too. She doesn't buy one of anything. She waits until she finds it, 'Buy Two – Get One Free,' and then she buys nine. Moreover, she can't manage to suppress an indulgent smile – as though I'm a father telling my teenage daughter that her skirt might give boys all the wrong signals – when I suggest that checking to see how full the freezer is before she starts buying extra stuff for it might be a good idea. Beyond the simply obvious – they'll have terraformed Mars before our family runs out of oven chips, for example – there is another consequence of this. The sheer volume of food that needs to be crammed into the freezer means it's only possible at all because Margret employs two ruses. The first is brute force. Basically, she just hammers things into the drawers with the heel of her shoe. Which works, but at the expense of horrifically deforming whatever she's storing. We're all used to this now, naturally.
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