Jessica was strolling beside me down the aisle, popping green grapes into her mouth. “Weird. Or a trick. Or a weird trick.”“Tell me,” I said gloomily. “I think I like Wrinkly Me better when she’s being an imperious asshat.”“Glad I was napping and missed it.”Say it twice, honey. “Yeah. I sort of wish I’d missed it.”“Nope. That’s why you get all the queen perks.” She popped another grape into her mouth. “Comes with the job.”“Oh, perks? Is that what those are?” I reached out a hand and tumbled two cans of cranberry jelly into our cart. “Perks, my luscious white butt.”“Don’t make me think about your butt. No, not that kind. Get the real stuff.”I eyed the two cans rolling around with the can of sweet potatoes. “That is the real stuff.”“Cranberries are not can-shaped. Ergo, those aren’t proper cranberries.”I thought about running her down with the cart, then reconsidered. Probably couldn’t displace her mass with one measly grocery cart, anyway.
