that won them a couples talent show, I have never felt happier to be single. I have also never been more sorry to have ears and eyes – though even without those two senses, I reckon I’d smell the cheese and my skin would still crawl. ‘No jazz hands?’ I ask instead of joining in with the applause ...
For a moment, I breathe as gently as possible, terrified any sudden movements will make me sick again. Then, as I run my hands down my body, I realise that I’m not wearing any clothes. I sit up and take in my surroundings and realise that I’m in a room that I don’t recognise, in a bed that I’ve n...