He conceded that it wasn’t the worst way to celebrate a birthday, though he’d secretly hoped to celebrate it with Cynthia. For years, he’d tried to fool himself that his birthday meant very little or nothing, and so, if no cards appeared, or cake or presents, that would be fine. Indeed, there had been no card from Cynthia, though he’d received a stack from his parishioners, and certainly she’d given no promise of cake or candles that definitively pronounced, This is it, Timothy, the day you appeared on earth, and though I know you don’t really care about such things, we’re going to celebrate, anyway, because you’re important to me. He was deeply ashamed to admit that he’d waited for this from her; in truth, had expected it, hoped for it. He’d known suffering in his thirty-eight years in the priesthood, though nearly always because of someone else’s grief or affliction. Now he suffered for himself, for his maddening inability to let his walls down with her, to cast off his armor and simply and utterly love her.
