My sister lent me “The Book Thief” with the great recommendation that it was “the best book she had ever read”. I read it, and she was almost right – I give it second place. My sister lent me “The Five People You Meet in Heaven”, telling me that it was a real joy. I hated it so much it’s actually one of those rare books which I couldn’t even finish, and swore not to feel guilty about doing so. My sister lent me “The Faraday Girls”, assuring me it was a quick, easy, delightful read. I finished it simply because I did after all feel guilty about abandoning “The Five People You Meet in Heaven” when it had been recommended to me by my sister, my best friend. And so, when my sister lent me a bundle of books with no comments attached I approached them neutrally. In this way I came to “A Three Dog Life”. I just finished it. I wonder if there is a statutory waiting period before you can read a book again. What I really want to do is book a plane ticket and fly off to Woodstock, to sit down with this amazing writer, Abigail Thomas, and just probably do nothing but perhaps chat and perhaps drink - red wine or tea, either would be good.This book is Abigail’s account of how her life did a 180 (no, not a 360) degree turn after her lovely husband, Rich, suffered massive head trauma when he was hit by a car while out walking their dog one evening in New York. The life which they had imagined building together suddenly was swept away and Abigail creates for herself an alternate life, a three dog life, that phrase being taken from an Australian Aboriginal description of a really cold night being a three dog night, ie it would take three dogs to keep you warm. And, yes, she does end up with the warmth and comfort of three dogs.This book is so full of precious moments, little gems, that I have to buy my own copy – or maybe just forget to return my sister’s copy – so that when I go back to read it, as I will do very soon, I can underscore and highlight those pearls as I go, pearls such as:On getting older, “I just couldn’t imagine what my life would be like without the option of looking good.”On her husband’s constant need to move, ”No, no, and no. Rich just needs to be moving. And I ask myself what use is a destination anyway?”On living a life unexpectedly alone, “… my house doesn’t fit me anymore. Maybe it’s because from here I can see into the empty kitchen, and then turn my head and look into the empty living room. On either side are these uninhabited rooms, quiet, waiting, but only for me, and I can’t sit everywhere at once.”And then to come to the last page and read this passage, where she and her husband, in an almost lucid moment, are chatting, “I ask Rich if he knows how long we’ve been married. “About a year”, he answers. I shake my head. “Seventeen years”, I say, “we got married in 1988 and it’s 2005.” “Abby”, he says, smiling, “our life has been so easy that the days glide by.”It almost breaks your heart, but that would be impossible because this book is not a heart-wrenching, tragic tale of woe; it is a beautiful sharing of the funny and the sad, and definitely not written to glean pity or bring on feelings of despair. A lovely, lovely book, and I wonder why my sister didn’t attach a comment to this loan.
I was underwhelmed by this highly-rated memoir (Stephen King described it as a punch to the heart. USA Today said, [it:] "offers hope that life can retain its richness after a tragedy." This is a loosely told story of five years in the author's life after her third husband is hit by a car (as a result of chasing their dog into traffic) and suffers permanent, severe brain damage. But at its root, this is Thomas dealing with guilt -- for choosing not to bring her husband home to care for him, for loving the new life she builds for herself in his absence, for pushing to get the dog that ultimately leads to her husband's tragedy, and for her ill-timed wish not to have her husband so much under foot after his retirement just prior to the accident, etc, etc. For example, "I was used to eight hours of solitude every day and his presence derailed me.I suspect my negative reaction is partially because I don't find the author a particularly sympathetic character. I fail to see the "richness" of her life. Thomas appears financially well-off, so the main impact is the loss of relationship with her husband as he was prior to brain damage and how to deal practically and emotionally with this tragedy. She fills the hole of her husband's absence with dogs, buying things, knitting, and writing some books of beautiful prose apparently only about her life. I find no other-centeredness in her writing.It felt like the author was working hard to be "artsy" - tenses change, jumping around in time and topic, and poor punctuation. I read a review from Publishers Weekly that appears to capture what Thomas may be attempting to do - "Thomas's quick-cutting chronology and confessional narration subtly re-enacts the soupiness of her husband's mind, even as she quietly thanks him for the wisdom of living in the present." The first could be true, but I fail to see the latter.I'm giving it 3 stars because it contains many quotable lines (which I will add to Goodreads) and sections of beautiful prose - scattered throughout the book that actually may stay with me. This book is also an incredibly quick read. The paperback version has those lovely, uneven pages and a built-in, cover-flap bookmark - which I love. These are not enough, however, to raise this book of uneven writing above 3 stars.
What do You think about A Three Dog Life (2015)?
What it is: A beautifully written memoir about an 60-ish woman who has lost her husband to an auto accident - not physically, but mentally and emotionally. The brain trauma left Rich unable to care for himself and too difficult to be cared for by Abigail.What it isn't: A place for Abigail to vent, feel sorry for herself and be the hero.What it is: An account of the healing that takes place in Abigail's life with aid of her three dogs. A straight forward discussion of the reality of her life. Simple writing at its best.What it isn't: A sensational story. Abigail just tells it what it is, with no frills. There isn't anything exceptional as far as adventure or aha moments. Sample writing: If you were to look into our apartment in the late morning, or early afternoon, or toward suppertime, you might find us together sleeping. Of course a good rainy day is preferable, but even on sunny summer days, the dogs and I get into bed. Rosie dives under the quilt on my right, Harry on my left, and we jam ourselves together. After a little bit Harry starts to snore, Rosie rests her chin on my ankle, the blanket rises and falls with our breathing, and I feel only gratitude. We are doing something as necessary to our well-being as food or air or water. We are steeping ourselves, reassuring ourselves, renewing ourselves, three creatures of two species, finding comfort in the simple exchange of body warmth.
—Judy
Abigail Thomas's life changed instantly the day her husband, Rich was hit by a car leaving him with a permanent brain injury. Whilst recovering in hospital, Rich becomes angry and confused which leaves, Abby feeling hurt and upset.We follow, Abby as she struggles with guilt, loneliness and adjusting to living on her own once her husband is placed into a facility. Abby moves closer to the facility where she visits, Rich on a regular basis. In time, Abby begins to live her life again, which she does with the help from her family, friends and her dogs. A touching memoir, which I quite enjoyed. Well worth reading.
—Sharon
This book struck me as both straightforward and subtly complex. The language is simple and unassuming, yet the attention to detail creates a much more layered and nuanced portrait than first perceived. I was intrigued, albeit occasionally confused, by the way Thomas hopskotched through time, shifting between present and past tense without ever truly grounding me in a “now.” I felt this was craftily intentional, conveying the “eternal present tense” that her husband now lives in, and she has been forced to acclimate to and adopt. My impression was that the chapter divisions served as placemarkers, signifying shifts in time that could be months or years. I got the feeling I was in “real time,” following the author through her process as she writes sections over a span of five years (the first chapter says they married 12 years ago; in the last chapter she tells Rich they’ve been married 17 years). This was really effective for me, infusing the narrative with a sense of immediacy that carried through the whole book, so that I felt like Thomas was no more prepared than I was for the next stage or revelation. As for disclosure/evasion–I too noticed how little Thomas revealed about herself, and about Rich, but by the end I appreciated this as purposefully selective. It got me thinking about memoir as a more focused art; rather than stuffing all the details of a surface life (occupation, date of birth, number of kids) into a big baggy autobiography, Thomas demonstrates how we can learn the rhthym of a narrator’s internal life through everyday details like what kind of food is stocked in her refrigerator, or the fact that she hates when other people remember things she loves better than she does. Rich’s history has been essentially erased; at one point Thomas declares that the past is not as interesting to her now as it once was. It seemed fitting, then, that she would not take time revealing “mundane” background info, except insofar as it contextualizes the present moment. Existing in the present moment is the theme that stayed with me most powerfully after finishing this book. Though I might not feel cozied up to Thomas as a confidant, I do feel invited in to a private space of observation and memory, as if she allowed me to hover along behind her as she evolved through her process of grief and acceptance.
—Keleigh
