G-strings, for example. G-strings are the most god-awful, hideous contraptions man has ever created. Pay-per-view porn. Tequila. Bubble gum lip gloss. And pool sex. Of course, I’m four shots of tequila in and wearing bubble gum lip gloss when I decide that pool sex would be a fabulous idea, so tonight is definitely a three-strikes kind of night. Not that Nate didn't enjoy himself, because boy, did he have an insta-boner the second I undid my bikini top. Of course, five minutes of lubeless, uncomfortable intercourse later, Nate came... right in my parents' pool. They'll never find out. Mom and Dad like to think they know everything, but they're clueless most of the time. That's why I've gotten away with my erotic photography career for so long. As we towel off, Nate says with a goofy grin on his face, "That was awesome." Awesome. Yes, he uses the word Awesome, like I-am-in-seventh-grade-and-just-saw-boobs-for-the-first-time-on-HBO Awesome.
