I remembered the smoothness of his voice when he said it, as if he’d memorized it from the Bible. I sat on my porch swing, looking up at the sky, thinking that Jake was the brightest star up there, so far away but shining and powerful. He would shine like that for as long as I was living because when a sun as bright as Jake burns out, it takes a hundred years for its star to fade. Forever is only now; there’s no measure of time when it comes to love. I knew Jake would be up there in the sky for all of my life, and I promised myself that after I left this earth I would stand before God and say with pride that I loved Jacob Brian McCrea with all my heart and soul. But Jake wasn’t with me on earth anymore. When he pulled the trigger his forever ended, not mine. That night, I had gone inside and called Nate. I had believed that I was finally ready to take my forever back. I’d even rehearsed what I was going to say. I know you’re not trying to fix me, but you’re the one who makes me better.
