She’d been screaming for the last hour and nothing Kathryn did seemed to calm her. She’d tried feeding, a diaper change, rocking, singing, dancing, everything, but finally she’d just worn herself out and fallen asleep. The baby was now dozing peacefully in her crib and Kathryn was ready to crash and it was only nine o’clock. Sarah was three months old now and Kathryn loved everything about her. The sounds she made while sleeping, the light in her eyes and how much she reminded her of Ben every day. None of this could save her from the exhaustion though. Waking up every couple of hours to feed Sarah had definitely taken its toll and every time the baby cried out, she was reminded that Ben was gone and couldn’t help her. Luke was a big help, but he wasn’t Ben. When she watched Luke’s puffy eyes in the middle of the night when she knew he should be sleeping, she was overcome with guilt. Ben’s 18-year-old brother should be out getting drunk and acting like a stupid college kid, not getting woken up at 2am by his screaming niece. He’d done it without complaint though.
