Narrator: Sandra BurrLength: 12 hours and 9 minutesPublished by Brilliance Audio, August 2007We all know a narrator can make or break an audiobook. What I didn’t know was that studio effects can do it too. Narrator Sandra Burr does a decent job with the characters here. I can tell who is who and that is always a bonus when a book contains too many zany characters. Burr’s narration of Agnes is a little too upbeat at times (Agnes is supposed to be cranky) but for the most part she is pretty spot on. The light-hearted tone definitely fits in well with the story. I don’t blame the narrator. I blame the person(s) who thought it might be a nifty idea to add an “echo chamber” effect to Agnes and Shane’s inner musings. This person deserves to get stabbed a little with one of Agnes’s meat forks. See, this echo effect makes it very difficult to hear what the characters are thinking when one is driving in a loud car. And Agnes thinks to herself quite often. Fortunately Shane doesn’t think much at all. If I turned up the volume my ears nearly blew off when the echo was shut off. This was more annoying than words can express and went on until the very end of the audio. I will forever be left to wonder if I missed out on some life-changing utterance. And surely I did, right?So on to the actual story. Cranky Agnes is a food writer baking cupcakes and raspberry sauce when a punk busts into her home and points a gun at her doggie’s head. She grabs the pan of hot fruit and konks him over the head with it. Well, wouldn’t you? But apparently she does this sort of thing often because she has anger issues and even had to see a court appointment shrink because of it. Chaos ensues and the bad guy falls through a swinging door that leads to a basement without stairs. He presumably dies. No one really cares. Too bad for you, sucker.This is the beginning of a series of madcap events in Agnes’s world. Worried for Agnes, an older friend sends his nephew, a handsome hit man named Shane, to watch over Agnes and keep her out of trouble. Even though Agnes is engaged to someone else, Shane basically moves in and puts the moves on Agnes. And she likes it. Her fiancé is aloof and refuses to spend time with her and Shane is hunkier. Later on we discover the reason the fiancé is MIA. It’s ridiculous but you just have to go with the flow here. Trouble continues to arrive in droves as Agnes attempts to plan a wedding for a friends’ daughter, more bad people get hit with frying pans and stabbed with forks, the wedding is continually sabotaged by the WWF’s Vickie Guerrero in a blond wig (not really but that’s who I pictured whenever the troublemaking Brenda appeared all screechy, bossy and annoying), more people die, flamingos honk and Shane and Agnes fall in lusty-love.The premise this story is built upon, a sketchy mortgage and a hidden fortune, isn’t worth picking apart. It’s nutty and it’s supposed to be. I’ve read several Jennifer Crusie novels and loved them for their witty, intelligent characters and genuinely funny dialogue. Anyone But You? Oh, how I loved that book. But this book is different. She co-authored this with Bob Mayer and it doesn’t read like a typical Crusie novel. Having never read Mayer, I can only guess that his input perhaps was more on the madcap end of the spectrum? Disappointingly I didn’t find the book very funny or heartwarming. Parts of it were cute but mostly it was all over the place crazy. I liked Agnes who has some nicely sarcastic dialogue. But Shane? Shane is just sort of there. He’s a big, burly man good for offing the wrong people and helping Agnes control her temper with some angry sex but other than that there isn’t much to him. The two didn’t even get to interact very much because they were too busy reacting to the madness around them. It’s a shame because their banter, what little there was of it, was fun.Shane: “What did Taylor want?”Agnes: “He brought the health inspector out to shut down the wedding”Shane : “Did you kill him?”Agnes: “No. So how was your day? You kill anybody?” She stopped, realizing with horror that he might have.In the end it was sadly “meh” and the mob and action stuff was terribly boring for me because I’m not interested in that stuff. My notes are scribbled with “will it never end?” Somewhere around disc 5 or 6 I was ready for it be over and done but it lingered on, finally sputtering to a long overdue conclusion on disc ten. And how was I paid back for my persistence, you ask? By a final visit to the echo chamber of death on the last track, forcing me to rewind no less than four times in a fruitless attempt to hear Agnes’s last thought. Alas, I will never know what it was because I became Cranky Reader and hit eject. If you know what she said to Shane, can you please post it in the comments?
Mobsters, bridesmaids, and frying pans, oh my! Agnes and the Hitman pairs romance writer Jennifer Cruise with action writer Bob Mayer in a whirlwind of murder, cooking, laughter, and-of course-love. Agnes, or "Cranky Agnes" as she is known to the readers of her cooking column in the local paper, is an independent, stubborn woman with bad taste in men and an even worse temper. When her last fiance turned out to be a worthless waste of time, she hit him with a frying pan. And for some reason, that just keeps happening. Agnes is minding her own business one day making hot raspberry sauce when an intruder breaks into her house and tries to steal her dog, Rhett. What's a poor girl to do? Agnes hits him in the head with the frying pan. The problem is that this one ends up dead. Agnes panics and calls up a dear family friend, Joey, who says he'll take care of it. Enter Shane, the thirty-something nephew of said family friend. Shane is a tough sort of military man with a past. He's just hardened enough to put up with Agnes' prickly exterior. As if a dead body, a cranky cook, and a secretive (though hot, of course) soldier-turned-hitman all mixed together in a sleepy Southern town aren't interesting enough, Agnes is playing hostess to The Society Event of the Season--a flamingo themed wedding for the town darling, Alice Olivia, who also happens to be the daughter of Agnes' childhood best friend. Who is Joey's nephew and Shane's niece. Connections form and reform as the complicated background of these characters are revealed. Some of them were in the mob, though you aren't sure who until the very end, and there's a local legend that treasure is buried in Agnes' basement, which might explain why masked men keep breaking in. And all the while, Shane and Agnes find themselves drawn together as they rely on one throughout it all, facing off home-invasion, local law enforcement, and--most terrifying of all--frilly pink dresses. If it sounds like a wild and confusing romp, that’s probably because it is. Agnes is never sure who’s on her side and who’s trying to burgle her and the reader shares in her bewilderment. Somehow, though, it works. Mayer and Cruise alternate chapters in the book, Mayer using Shane’s voice and Cruise using Agnes’, building a real chemistry between the two main characters. Chick lit at its best, Agnes and the Hitman sends the reader on an engaging and often hilarious ride through the life of two believable people in an unbelievable situation that is great fun for all.
What do You think about Agnes And The Hitman (2007)?
My head hurts from trying to explain any aspect of this story without giving something away, but it's not so complicated when you read it, honest (okay, it's a little bit complicated, but, like Janet Evanovich's books, if you don't struggle to place everyone and just let it all wash over you instead, it all becomes clear in the end). Plus - and you'll know this if you read Crusie's blog - there are flamingoes.I liked Agnes & the Hitman even better than Don't Look Down (and I liked Don't Look Down a lot). Agnes now joins the (long) list of my favourite Crusie characters and Shane is sex on legs. The minor characters are charming, hilarious and completely barmy and it's so skillfully done that you can't see To read the rest of the review, please visithttp://www.trashionista.com/2007/11/b...
—Keris
I was all set to only sort of enjoy this book. By the end of the first chapter, I was already writing my review in my head. It went something like, "Crusie's stuff is way better solo. This is like a girl's fantasy, invaded by a teenage boy." Only it was more eloquent than that, because all of the reviews that I write in my head are more eloquent than the things that end up on the site. This is still marginally true - I think Crusie's greatest potential lies in her solo work (where again I pimp her book "Bet Me" as the best romantic comedy ever). But damn if Agnes didn't surprise me.The 2D overly male character I chastised started becoming a person. Then a person I liked. Then he became downright yummy. Huh. So, a teenage boy maybe, but one who reads a lot of genre novels.Also a surprise was the relative complexity of the mystery. I mean, it's not gonna make a Tom Clancy thriller (and please dear God do not make this a movie starring Tom Hanks - that would be wrong) but this plot was just right for what it was - certainly much better than what I usually expect from my mass-market airport reads, enjoyable though they are. This mystery had lots of layers, from the seemingly inconsequential plot threads to the "Holy crap, are you INSANE?" that I love so much in Crusie's fun work.So all in all - a worthy read, and one I'll be loaning out to my girlfriends I'm sure.
—Jodotha
Action/Romance. Agnes is very busy trying to plan her god-daughter's wedding, make cupcakes, and meet her article deadline when some pipsqueak with a gun busts into her house and demands her dog. Agnes doesn't take well to this and cracks him on the head with a frying pan. Suddenly she's got a hot new bodyguard and each day brings at least two attempts on her life. Agnes is tough, but it doesn't hurt that Shane is really good at his job.I liked this book a lot better than their first one. This one feels more cohesive, a good blend of violence and romance, and Agnes and Shane are a lot of fun together. I didn't really care much about the couple in Don't Look Down, they were cute, but not MFEO. Agnes and Shane fit together well and have an unconventional relationship by romance standards. I like it. It's sexy and low-angst; all the conflict comes from the action part of the plot, with the mob and government spooks and people trying to kill each other. Agnes has rage issues and Shane's just as cool as you'd want your boyfriend/hitman to be. There's even the requisite Grosse Pointe Blank reference. If you like Crusie, you'll like this, just be warned that there is a lot of unapologetic violence, in much the same way as Grosse Pointe Blank.
—Punk
