Talking with Jackie had just stirred up every image and fantasy she’d fought over the past weeks to shut down. Jackie had taken her to the beach, showed her some surfing moves. They’d drunk one too many margaritas and watched movies late into the night in Sabrina’s cozy living room.But the fun hadn’t dimmed the shame she felt for not listening to Kaz and throwing herself at him anyway.She was good and haunted now, but not by any specter. Long walks on the beach and late nights rearranging her bungalow only made the loneliness yawn deeper inside her soul. For the first time in her life she felt homeless and unmoored. She couldn’t even touch her own body without sensing Kaz’s touch. The sense of longing, of lack, of something missing, was worse than the nightmares, worse than the pain she’d endured after the attack. How could something that wasn’t even there be so painful and pull her forward more powerfully than any goal or plan? Her shoulder was better and her heart was breaking.
