I’ve done it a thousand times before. But today, it wasn’t just difficult, it was downright life-threatening. The first few backyards weren’t bad. I was chased by a nasty poodle named Luna, I stomped through a strawberry garden, and I almost broke my foot on a cement tortoise lawn decoration thingy, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. But in the Swopes’ backyard, things got loopy. I was flying through some laundry that had been hung out to dry—who still did that?—and didn’t see the hot tub on the other side of the drying laundry. I’ve never felt strongly that hot tubs should be covered when not in use, but falling into practically boiling water with a pillowcase wrapped around your head changes your view of things. “AAAGH!” I screamed when I emerged like the Swamp Thing from the soup-hot water. I threw off the pillowcase and fell to the ground. I grabbed my throbbing right thigh, which had smashed into the seat ledge just under the water’s surface. I had received the worst charley horse in the history of legs and charley horses.
What do You think about Alien In My Pocket #3 (2013)?
