The reality of Jon’s death, and perhaps the reality of death itself, remained incomplete. The fear was alive. I had children now, and I would have to find a way to stay sane, to remain functional, to not let the fear of death and, more particularly, the fear of abduction, overwhelm the freedom I wanted them to experience in life. I could see already that I was not alone in this struggle. My friends were going through the conflict too. Kids were not going off on their own like we did when we were young, not even the older kids. The culture had changed. CNN broadcast news stories of missing kids. We heard about Amber Alerts, followed drawn-out abduction stories on Nancy Grace. The stories were flying across the internet too. Of course, this wasn’t to say that parents had no reason to be mindful. But at what point does fear subsume mindfulness? Parents, drunk on the fear, began hovering over their kids. Psychologists had coined a term: helicopter parents. Instead of letting the kids run free, free time became regimented.
