The number is my Doctor’s office. My heart skips a beat and then starts thudding. The results I’ve been waiting for. I know they’ll lead to happy elation or downright despair. I can’t handle the despair. I’ll want to kill myself, no joking. The thought has been evolving in my mind lately and all I need is something else to ruin my life, another problem on the pile, another worry, another stressor. It may be better to die than to live like this because my mind is a fuckin punishment. With trembling hands I answer the call. “Hello?” “Victoria Sawyer?” “Yes.” “This is Dr. Perkins. I’ve received your test results from the pap smear. I’m happy to tell you that you pap results came back completely normal, however, unfortunately, your STD test revealed that you have Chlamydia.” The doctor pauses and I almost drop the phone. Holy shit!! My stomach clenches with dread and my palms are instantly sweaty, the phone slippery in my grip. Everything feels surreal and suddenly the world is not solid, but spinning.
