It took me a while to identify the feeling but now I've put a name on it. It's terror. I'm terrified but I don't know why. I've dreamed about that man for years. I've longed for him and now that I know that he's felt the same way, that he's been waiting for me too, I should be elated. Instead, I'm petrified. The beep of my cell phone startles me. It's a text. Kenneth is letting me know that the sale is about to start. He wonders where I am. What the hell is wrong with me? I was so looking forward to this event and I can't get up from my chair. It's not the sale, it's Bruce. I want him so much that I'm paralyzed. What has he seen in me? Does he really like me or a fantasy image he's built in his imagination about me? What if I am not enough? What if I am unable to give him what he wants? What if he is disappointed in me once he really gets to know me? I'm not sure I'm making sense. I don't know what to do. Another beep and I look at my phone again. Another chunk of time has vanished.
