Most of us have been taught that any sex, much less kinkiness, is embarrassing and disgusting. But now we are faced with someone - a friend, a lover, a member of the family - that we know and love, and we don’t want to hurt him, or lose his friendship. This section will help you in deciding what your own feelings are about the kink of your friend or relative, and in clarifying your own boundaries. Permission. Start by giving yourself permission to not like, not want, not feel erotic about anything that you may be hearing from your kinky friend that is shocking and difficult for you. It’s not your job to like every single fantasy or role-play or sexual behavior that you hear about. All that is asked of you is that you find a neutral position. Now might be a good time to turn back to Chapter Two, if you need to. Take a few minutes to breathe, relax, and remember the wonderful things about your kinky friend or relative. The other side of this same coin is important to note here. Since our culture has stereotyped kinky people as self-destructive sickos, it can be a startling revelation to discover that a person that you love and respect and know to be a healthy and worthwhile human being is into kinky sex.
