Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps For Attracting Your Perfect Mate (2009) - Plot & Excerpts
If you like Bravo's Millionaire Matchmaker series, you'll like this book. Just like in her show, Stanger uses a no-nonsense, tough love approach to dating. She gives you concrete strategies for determining what it is you really want in a partner, explains in detail relationship stages as well as gives you clues to determine how serious it is, when to break it off and more. While there are some takeaways for men this is really for women. Quick read, funny and you come away feeling empowered and in control of your dating life. I'd consider this a must read for those trying to get a handle on dating. I decided not to finish this book soon after I started it (I got about 100 pages in). Not because I completely disagreed with Patti’s advice. Not because I am bitter, cynical, or upset that I don’t fit the description of outer beauty, which she explains is equally important in finding a partner as inner beauty. In fact, I have great hair, a perfect smile, I exercise daily, I have a pretty face and wear minimal makeup, and I’m happy. So basically, according to Patti, I’m rocking it. I give her credit for stressing that one must first be truly happy with herself and know herself, and be happy being alone before she would be ready to be in a relationship. I completely agree with that. And I agree with many of her suggestions for how to reach this point – spend time doing old hobbies, take a warm bath, find a workout that suits you, etc. I have been working to strengthen myself and my character for the last three years. It takes a lot of work. Daily work. And I’ve come a long way. The thing is, the more I read “Become Your Own Matchmaker,” the more I was struggling to keep my positive mind and be happy. Patti started reinforcing the importance of things that I have realized (through getting to know myself, my desires, and be happy and accepting) are not important to me. And again, I stress that I am not viewing her suggestions through bitter eyes. She makes a living giving the advice she does, and it works. And her points are valid. But ironically, her points and her suggestions were actually making me take a step BACKWARDS with how I’ve felt, instead of moving forward. In the first chapter, she stresses the importance of getting to know yourself and being happy. I have already achieved that. I work DAILY to improve my outlook on life and be positive. I read “healthy” books, I exercise, I spend time doing something mindless like watching TV, I listen to upbeat music, I practice controlling how I view things. I even got rid of the junk in my life that I didn’t need, which is something Patti suggests doing. I vastly improved being comfortable in my own skin. In truly loving myself. The thing is, in order to accomplish this and maintain it, I had to ignore those certain ideals that society pushes on me – ideals that Patti pushes in her book. So although I agree with a lot of what she says, her points were actually MAKING me bitter and cynical, rather than helping to assure I’m not that way.For example, I know men are visual. I do. I understand it is important to look one’s best. I know that no one expects anyone to be perfect all the time (or, at least, no one should). And I appreciate Patti’s no bullshit attitude. Love it, in fact. It simplifies everything. But being told that men love women in stilettos (which I can’t wear due to being super tall and also having had multiple ankle injuries and surgery throughout my life) or that the best investment we can make it to buy Shapewear? Truth be told, that makes me a little sad. And as we know, sad girls won’t attract anyone. I also decided to read this book because I thought it would be fun. I am not necessarily even looking for a man right now. But the fact that Patti assumes anyone reading the book is desperate or that whatever we are doing isn’t working? Again, that just makes me feel a bit let down. It’s a tricky line to walk: like I said before, I agree with many of her points. I just think that right now in my life I need to keep focusing on myself and being happy. And in order to be happy, I need to cut out ideals that suggest anything materialistic will in any way contribute to the value of my life. I’m a really pretty, happy girl. Even by Patti’s harsher standards involving outer appearance. And although I think a lot of the world works the way she suggests, I just don’t think all of it does. So for the time being, I’d rather keep focusing on myself, working out, smiling, and reading books that inspire me and remind me about the true value of life. I’d rather be happy and alone than change my values to appease someone else and be miserable. If I change my mind and decide that I’d like to consult Patti in the future, I know where to find her.
What do You think about Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps For Attracting Your Perfect Mate (2009)?
It was a decent book. Do I agree with everything she said?..of course not! but it was an easy read.
—calcucool
Should I re-rate this to 5 stars if I am in a happy monogamous relationship in 3 months?
—cammie26
I love Patti!!! Wish I had read this book when I was 19
—EmmaAlbeit
Fun read filled with some great Patti quotes.
—mikfed52
Awesome. A must read for all single women...
—alexia_princess01
