“You don’t know your hard limits?” I shook my head. “I-I’ve been very focused on school. I told you I just graduated. I really haven’t…” I lowered my chin. It wasn’t that I was a virgin. I wasn’t. But everything in my life as Alex had been sweet and overtly planned. Limits weren’t an issue. If I were to be completely honest, everything in Alex’s sex life had been boring. That was probably why I rarely dated. On the few occasions when I did become intimate, it was usually anticlimactic, in all meanings of the word. My vibrator and I had a better time than I did with the few men I’d known in college. Chelsea said I overthought it and needed to put myself out more. I worried about the long-term consequences of following her advice. I suspected that many of my classmates would go on to impressive careers. The idea of running into one of them—a one-night stand—in a courtroom one day didn’t sit well with my long-term career goals. I was safer with my vibrator.
