I’m wearing new socks (diamond pattern) and shoes (black, chunky). When I told Birdie I needed a fashion overhaul I thought he would hand me a five spot and send me down the street to CVS for a two-pack of knee-highs. What I did not expect was him broadcasting my private business to everyone in the house. What I did not expect was Eleni whipping out her wallet and saying why don’t Clio, Cassi, Evyn, and Evyn’s giant throbbing shnoz pop over to Copley Plaza for some shopping—her treat? Half an hour later I was in the middle of Jasmine Sola, trying on platform heels while the sweater twins fought over the last pair of purple fishnet stockings. That is why this morning I am walking to the bus stop in the right socks and shoes. Put a bounce in your step, Stella says. So I do. But I can assure you, that is not what people will be looking at. When we get to the corner, Phoebe’s friend Hannah gapes at me. “Bear attack,” I tell her, which was Birdie’s suggestion. “When in doubt,”
