From the beginning of this autobiography:Mother bought me a canary and I named him Petie. He was my first pet. I would talk to him – he would tweet to me. I’d close the windows and let him fly around the room. It was hell catching him, but I felt he was entitled to some freedom. One ghastly day when I suppose I thought he was well trained enough, and attached to me enough, I must have been a bit careless about a window, because he got out. He flew away – I never saw him again. I cried so. Mother tried replacing him with another canary, but it was never the same.That quote is typical of something that turns up throughout Bacall's life; if something's good, it - at the most bitter points in her life - is fleeting.However, this is thankfully not the tone of this autobiography. Before the last, updated bit of the book, Bacall details how she's overcome obstacles while pursuing a very glass-half-full point of view. And she's fought to be where she turned up early in her career, along with extraordinary luck, as she states. Among her lucky stars, she met Bette Davis:Bette Davis was very patient. She said, ‘Well, if you want to act, you should probably try to work in summer stock. That’s the best way to learn your craft.’ ‘Oh yes, that’s what I want to do – I want to start on the stage and then go into films just as you did.’ ‘Well, be sure it’s really what you want to do with your life. It’s hard work and it’s lonely.’ I remembered she had said in an interview when talking about her life, ‘I have two Oscars on my mantelpiece, but they don’t keep you warm on cold winter evenings.’ More silence. Robin looked at me – I knew it was time to go. I said, ‘Thank you so much, Miss Davis, for your time – for seeing us – I am so grateful.’ Betty said much the same. Bette Davis shook our hands, wished us luck. Robin opened the door and out we went.She started working as a model and attending acting school. She constantly wondered where her life would take her:One Saturday morning in 1942, Mother and Rosalie took me to the Capitol Theatre to see a movie called Casablanca. We all loved it, and Rosalie was mad about Humphrey Bogart. I thought he was good in it, but mad about him? Not at all. She thought he was sexy. I thought she was crazy. Mother liked him, though not as much as she liked Chester Morris, who she thought was really sexy – or Ricardo Cortez, her second favorite. I couldn’t understand Rosalie’s thinking at all. Bogart didn’t vaguely resemble Leslie Howard. Not in any way. So much for my judgment at that time.Howard Hawks, the legendary movie director, found Bacall and primed her for Hollywood.He said he thought he’d like to put me in a film with Cary Grant or Humphrey Bogart. I thought, ‘Cary Grant – terrific! Humphrey Bogart – yucch.’There are a lot of Hollywood anecdotes in the book:One day I was having lunch at his poolside and was the last to leave. Finally he walked me to the door. At that moment the door opened. Standing there in white shirt, beige slacks – with a peach complexion, light brown hair, and the most incredible face ever seen by man – was Greta Garbo. I almost gasped out loud as Cole introduced me to her. No make-up – unmatched beauty. It was the only time I saw her at anything but a distance....but despite this, it's mostly about Bacall's own emotions and experiences.And upon making "To Have and Have Not":Howard took me to wardrobe, chose a dark shirt and jacket, put a beret on my head, and told me the test would be the next Tuesday. He drummed into my head that he wanted me to be insolent with the man – that I was being the forward one, but with humor – and told me about yet more scenes he had directed other actresses in to give me examples of the attitude he wanted. I hung on his every word, trying to figure out how the hell a girl who was totally without sexual experience could convey experience, worldliness, and knowledge of men.By the end of the third or fourth take, I realized that one way to hold my trembling head still was to keep it down, chin low, almost to my chest, and eyes up at Bogart. It worked, and turned out to be the beginning of ‘The Look.’And, upon falling in love with Bogie:He was a gentle man – diametrically opposed to most of the parts he played. He detested deceit of any kind. He had never had a secret relationship such as we were having. Our drives home, foolish jokes, kidding on the set, all the behavior of kids in love – he’d never known. Nor had I. I had so many new feelings all at once. I was in awe of him and his position of ‘movie star.’ I was aware of being nineteen and he forty-four, but when we were together that didn’t seem to matter. I was older than nineteen in many ways and he had such energy and vitality he seemed to be no particular age. I was an innocent sexually – Bogie began awakening feelings that were new to me. Just his looking at me could make me tremble. When he took my hand in his, the feeling caught me in the pit of my stomach – his hand was warm, protecting, and full of love. When he saw me at the beginning of the day and when he called me on the telephone, his first words were always ‘Hello, Baby.’ My heart would literally pound. I knew that physical changes were happening within me – the simplest word, look, or move would bring a gut reaction. It was all so romantic – I would not have believed Bogie was so sentimental, so loving. I couldn’t think of anything else – when I wasn’t with him I was thinking of him, or talking about him. One-track-minding with a vengeance.The problematic love story between Bacall and Bogart is the epic piece of the book, to me; we see how their love spires while Bogart is married with Mayo Methot, a person who seems to have experienced issues with alcoholism and spousal abuse - to my knowledge, where she abused Bogart, who hid from Methot as much as possible. This does not seem to have expediated their separation.But, their love:Bogie’s letters were all on the same themes: how much he loved me – how terrified he was of my being hurt – how he wanted to protect me – how wonderful of me to take that long drive to see him for so short a time. A few examples. Baby, I do love you so dearly and I never, never want to hurt you or bring any unhappiness to you – I want you to have the loveliest life any mortal ever had. It’s been so long, darling, since I’ve cared so deeply for anyone that I just don’t know what to do or say. I can only say that I’ve searched my heart thoroughly these past two weeks and I know that I deeply adore you and I know that I’ve got to have you. We just must wait because at present nothing can be done that would not bring disaster to you. And a week later: Baby, I never believed that I could love anyone again, for so many things have happened in my life to me that I was afraid to love – I didn’t want to love because it hurts so when you do. And then: Slim darling, you came along and into my arms and into my heart and all the real true love I have is yours – and now I’m afraid you won’t understand and that you’ll become impatient and that I’ll lose you – but even if that happened, I wouldn’t stop loving you for you are my last love and all the rest of my life I shall love you and watch you and be ready to help you should you ever need help. All the nice things I do each day would be so much sweeter and so much gayer if you were with me. I find myself saying a hundred times a day, ‘If Slim could only see that’ or ‘I wish Slim could hear this.’ I want to make a new life with you – I want all the friends I’ve lost to meet you and know you and love you as I do – and live again with you, for the past years have been terribly tough, damn near drove me crazy. You’ll soon be here, Baby, and when you come you’ll bring everything that’s important to me in this world with you.Then the June 14 letter: Darling, sometimes I get so unhappy because I feel that I’m not being fair to you – that it is not fair to wait so long a time – and then somehow I feel that it’s alright because I’m not hurting you, not harming and never shall. I’d rather die than be the cause of any hurt or harm coming to you, Baby, because I love you so much. It seems so strange that after forty-four years of knocking around I should meet you, know you and fall in love with you when I thought that that could never again happen to me. And it’s tragic that everything couldn’t be all clean and just right for us instead of the way it is because we’d have such fun together. Out of my love for you I want nothing but happiness to come to you and no hurt ever. Slim darling, I wish I were your age again – perhaps a few years older – and no ties of any kind – no responsibilities – it would be so lovely, for there would be so many long years ahead for us instead of the few possible ones.The death of Bogie is too harrowing to even try to concatenate here; all I can say is that it makes for an adamant, excellent cry, if one is at all possible. I'll just print a small quote:We were standing in the hall talking when I heard Steve, who was lying on the floor at the head of the stairs, calling to me through the banister railing, ‘What is the date, Mommy?’ He was writing something. I went upstairs to find that in a little agenda book he had, he had written: ‘January 14th – Daddy died.’Then:I was breathing, but there was no life in me.Bacall's later life makes for a less interesting tome, and I know I'm being brutally honest, even though it's still interesting and quite inspirational; I love the story of Bacall and Bogart, one that spanned lifetimes in some ways; his and her flaws are taken up, and she repeatedly, veraciously emphasises their eternal love, with examples.The truth is that I wanted it all – all the time. And God knows I tried to have it. And God knows I almost did.And to end with:People always ask, ‘Are you happy?’ or, if I’m working, ‘You must be happy.’ I wish I knew what ‘happy’ means. I was happy when I was nineteen, and when my life began at twenty. I was happy then, though something always shook me up in the middle of my joyous time. So my life has been very much a seesaw.All in all: very readable and worthy of reading. What a life. A rider from a young age, and then wise and perhaps not working as much in the latter part of the book - where she notes many a dead friend - but still, a Life. Go read.
I first read "By Myself" years and years ago, and Bacall became an instant heroine of mine. Her voice is so frank, so honest, full of earthy humor and stark assessments, the reader can't help but fall in love with her. You feel her enormous pride, genuine thankfulness and all-out love for Bogart and their life together - but also the sadness and not a little anger that, in the eyes of 99% of the world, the best part of her life was over before she turned 33. (Not that it means anything, but Bacall lived for the equivalent of Bogart's lifespan - 57 years - after he died).I still have my original copy of "By Myself" (I also have "Now") but when the updated version was offered as a digital deal to mark her passing, I leapt at it. "And Then Some" catches the reader up on the last three decades of Bacall's life. Sadly, those years were filled with the deaths of her friends, including Gregory Peck, Roddy McDowell, Katharine Hepburn and Adolph Green. While, as always, Bacall's inimitable voice is welcome, it does make one feel for her. She spanned generations from Bogart's to her own, and it must have been hard to be one of the last ones standing. But I'm glad the world had her as long as it did.A note on the Kindle edition: It's not the best formatted. There are whole paragraphs missing (I practically memorized "By Myself" as a youngster so it jumped out at me). Sentences are jumbled. Not throughout the book, but often enough to be noticed. The photos are also appear less than optimally formatted. There is a slightly different selection from the original version of "By Myself." There is no table of contents aside from distinguishing "By Myself" from "And Then Some," so trying to find the photos is a matter of guessing and hunting. Sadly, this is one case in which I would recommend the print version over the Kindle version.
What do You think about By Myself And Then Some (2006)?
I couldn't put it down. Lauren Bacall's story has always fascinated me (she is one of the reasons why my daughter is named Lauren), so it was a real treat to read this very personal account of her life. As charmed as her life has seemed, she has put up with a lot of crap from men. She seemed to want to keep up the image of the fairy tale story while almost making excuses for Bogart's drinking and really acting like a prick in many instances. I had no idea about the Frank Sinatra story - he basically came after her right after Bogart died (they were all friends), they got engaged and someone leaked the story. He dumped her and flat out ignored her at a party soon after. And marrying Jason Robards - that was a train wreck. The section about her married life with Bogie and his death from esophageal cancer is by far the most touching and heartfelt part of the book. People say she is not a nice woman and angry all the time, but it comes across as though she is a woman who just wants it the way she wants it. The "And Then Some" part of the book was really disjointed, but still interesting. While I can't say the book was well written, I was certainly engrossed by the stories she had to tell.
—Kara
I loved reading about Lauren Bacall's life. From her childhood to her life with the love of her life Humphrey Bogart. And after he passed away, how she continued on with her children and her work. She was a wonderful actress. She led a fascinating life and I enjoyed the parts where she talked about her friends. Katharine Hepburn, Spencer Tracy, Vivian Leigh, Lawrence Olivier just to name a few. She suffered losses at a young age of close family members but all through her life she kept her sense of humor. She was very close to her mother who was a great influence on her. A wonderful book and I highly recommend it.
—Tammie
Lauren Bacall has always been my favorite "Old Hollywood" glam girl. I loved her when I first noticed her in The Mirror Has Two Faces, but of course nothing tops her on-screen performances with Bogie.I picked this up mostly because I love Bogie & Bacall, and I wanted to read about their romance straight from her. I worried that once I was past that, that I would lose interest, but I never really did--her voice and tone are so engaging that I feel I could read her life-telling in the most boring detail and still feel fascinated. I'm not usually one for auto/biographies, but this was just so, so good. She inspired me in so many areas of my life, and I just love and admire her even more than I did when I picked this up. Mostly, I love how she recognizes her own flaws--but she never apologizes for them. I love people like that, who are able to take the bad along with the good in themselves, and still live with dignity and self respect. I also learned a lot about her. I didn't know she and Katharine Hepburn were such good friends, that she and Frank Sinatra were an item after Bogie's death, that she later married again. I admire that she was both an independent person and a well-connected one with many meaningful friendships. I like that she has something positive to say about almost everyone (and that she's brave enough still to publish the not-so-good as well). She's given me a new vision of myself, which I have to say I simply didn't expect at. all. upon opening this. She's given me a new commitment to myself and to be true to the talents I have inside me, to the joy and freedom I owe myself. Mostly, what I take away from this, though, is a recognition that I need to be a better friend. I used to be so good at keeping in touch with people, went through a time where it seemed no one else was living that way, so I gave it up--only to make new friends who DO operate that way, but now I'm out of practice! These relationships and friendships count for a lot in making a full life, and though I am an introvert through and through, I think I can do better to communicate to my friends the value they have in my life. So, dear friends, I beg that if in the near future you receive a phone call from me that you will excuse my natural and inevitable awkwardness. I've never been good on the phone. E-mail is more my thing, but I'm determined to connect in a better way. I digress.Should you read this book? If you like reading about real, multi-dimensional women and their determination to live a full life, then I suspect you will find this an inspirational read. If you are interested in learning about Lauren Bacall, then again, I believe you will not be disappointed--probably, you will be often surprised as I was. If you are looking for the inside scoop on big Hollywood names, this book is about 500 pages of name dropping just shy of gossip. Sucker for a real-life love story? Perhaps nothing better than this. Otherwise? I'm not sure there's much here for you.
—Becca
