Callahan's Place 09 - Callahan's Con (v5.0) - Plot & Excerpts
—the Buddha Of Antonio Donnazio Junior his own mother had once said, “You know how some people don’t know shit? Little Tony don’t suspect shit.” (To which his maternal grandfather had replied, “Fuckin A. Little prick makes his old man look like that Lord Stevie Hawkins. Whaddya mean, who? You know who I mean. Rain Man in a wheelchair.”) There had never been the slightest danger of Tony Junior suddenly needing a tuxedo because he’d been invited to Stockholm, and no one had ever, at least not with sincerity, asked his advice on anything. Nevertheless, he’d had an entire night to integrate in his mind both brand new information—I know somebody who can get younger—with some of the oldest information his brain retained—the world is owned by five very very old men. Everything he had been doing for the past few weeks, ever since he’d arrived in Key West, had the single purpose of impressing one or more of those very very old men. For although he was not bright enough to have figured it out for himself, he had finally terrorized someone knowledgeable into explaining to him that this was what it would take for him to become a made guy—that no mere capo or even don would or even could make that decision. Pressed, hard, his informant had explained that it wasn’t, at least not entirely, because Tony wasn’t Sicilian, and it wasn’t, at least not entirely, because he was let’s face it a potential discipline problem, and it wasn’t even that most people found him a little intimidating on a one-to-one basis, or even a one-to-six-heavily-armed basis. What it mostly was, really, was that he was the son of Tony Donuts Senior, who in his own gaudy passage through life had made few even temporary allies and no friends, and not for nothin but it didn’t help he even had the same friggin name fachrissake. This was monstrously, manifestly unfair, of course, but there was nothing Tony Junior could do about it except strangle his informant, which was small satisfaction.
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