Christmas Shopping For A Billionaire - Plot & Excerpts
Dad says, making a beeline for the men’s room. He hands a still-fuming Chuckles over to Mom, who strokes his fur and hums “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing” while Chuckles raises one paw and—if he had claws—looks like he’s imagining how he’s stroke Mom’s vocal cords and shred them while singing “Kumbaya.” In that reindeer getup he looks an awful lot like Anthony Hopkins playing Hannibal.“We need to get back to work!” Declan announces, storming off.“Sounds like Santa was already in someone’s chimney, busy at work—”“MOM!”I storm off and follow Declan. We come to the end of the hall and into the main part of the mall to raucous applause. The line is twice as long now, but no one has kids with them. It’s all elderly women and gay men.Declan goes behind the Santa chair and I realize I need caffeinated reinforcement. I stumble over to the espresso cart near the service desk and dig into my breasts again. I can store anything in there, including a sweat-soaked twenty.At least, I hope that’s sweat…Two double Mexican mochas later, I come back to find Declan already in the chair, Amy and Mom there to help, and a series of old ladies from Mom’s yoga class tittering.
What do You think about Christmas Shopping For A Billionaire?
