Clarissa; Or, The History Of A Young Lady - Volume 3 (of 9) (2012) - Plot & Excerpts
Ran out of room, so moved house again. https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...Like Richardson, I write too much. Unlike Richardson, I do not own my own printing press. Update 12/10The end continues to be nigh. Clarissa is buried, her long-ass will has been read, and Lovelace’s friends are trying to get him out of the country before someone initiates a duel. I continue to think about things that I will miss once it’s time for me to find a new hobby. And in the spirit of Vocab Rehab, I’d like to highlight one of those things -- another verbal styling that I think should make a return -- the cool sign-off.The novel consists of 500 letters, so I've read a lot of these sign-offs. They usually connect to the sentence above. People frequently style themselves as 'obliged' and/or 'affectionate.'"God give a blessing to it, and restore your health, and you to all your friends, praysYour ever affectionate servant, --Judith Norton."Sometimes they’re a little spicier.“Everybody, in short, is ashamed of you: but none more than --Arabella Harlowe.”When it’s Lovelace writing, the sign-off (if he does one) is often more lively."But I am crazed already, and will therefore conclude myself, Thine more than my own (And no great compliment neither), --R.L."Can’t we bring this back? I sign half my emails “thanks very much” and the other half not at all. Instead of a quote in the signature block, or blingees or something, why don’t we have a little fun?"Thank you for your purchase suggestion. At this time, there is not sufficient demand to add Clarissa: the Expanded Edition to the Library collection. Should your taste improve, please feel free to send future purchase recommendations to Your much obliged --Kate" "I had so much fun last night! But did we really try to climb over that fence? I keep finding bruises...Anyway, my memory is fuzzy and I haven’t heard from you, so remember if you need bail you can always callYour affectionate (although headache-y) --Kate"It's tempting. It wouldn’t work for texting but it would certainly improve most of my emails.This odyssey really is ending soon, so brace for a few more final updates from the ever longwinded, but grateful and indulged --KateUpdate 12/7On page 1370-something. Spoiler Alert. Well, it's finally happened. Clarissa is dead. According to the book, she died of a broken heart. According to me, she died of refusal to eat. Her last words were "Come and get me, Jesus." Or something to that effect.She had the foresight to crank out a final letter to pretty much everyone she knew, to be mailed after her death, and so now we get to read her letters from beyond the grave. All of the letters start the same way: "By the time you read this, I'll be in heaven. Ha ha!" As we approach 1400 pages, Richardson is beginning to be picky about what material he includes. For instance: Mr. Brand's recantation-letters... are thought to be originals in their way: But as they are long, and as the reader has already been let into his singular character...and as this collection is run into an undesirable length, they are omitted. [L6,392]It's a strange niceness from the author who, at the beginning of his novel, made us wade through 400 pages of repetitive family squabbles and solitary teatimes. If he's looking for places to cut I have suggestions. Questionable Lesson 8: Heaven is real. Hurry up and get there!Update 12/2Nearing the end now, and thinking about whether the world will feel cold without the company of my new friends. Believe it or not, (and I hardly can), I’ll miss Lovelace, the charming sociopath; Clarissa, the flawless bore; and Lovelace’s friend Belford, who is so patiently, wryly tolerant of everyone’s faults. But most of all, I’ll miss Clarissa’s correspondent, Anna Howe. If I could choose only one character from all of literature to bring to life, Miss Howe would be the one. The characters in Clarissa are so superior to the characters in Pamela that it’s almost difficult to believe they were written by the same author. (Although I still think Richardson’s wife was the one who wrote this book, which might explain the difference.) These characters are funny (except Clarissa), they are flawed (except Clarissa), they have their loyalties and their rivalries, and after many hundreds of pages, they’re real enough to fall in love with. So let me give you the benefit of all my hours in this bizarro world, in which everyone spends their days writing and reading letters, and try to share my love for the excellent, inestimable Anna Howe. Her letters at the beginning of this novel were the only thing that kept me reading. Miss Howe is wise – and would question all my praise, could she see it. Characters extremely good, or extremely bad, are seldom justly given. [L27] She’s a sharp and funny critic -- to a fault, as Clarissa likes to remind her. The vein is opened—Shall I let it flow? How difficult to withstand constitutional foibles! [L46]She does not take shit if she can help it. But why run I into length to such a poor thing? – Why push I so weak an adversary?...yet I was willing to give you a part of my mind – call for more of it; it shall be at your service… [L356]She is stoic when necessary, but does not take herself too seriously. Excuse me, my dear. I am nettled. They have fearfully rumpled my gorget. You'll think me faulty. So I won't put my name to this separate paper. Other hands may resemble mine. You did not see me write it. [L183]She is fiercely loyal to her friend, and does not sit idly by while trouble befalls her. One word more. Command me up, if I can be of the last service or pleasure to you. I value not fame: I value not censure; nor even life itself, I verily think, as I do your honour, and your friendship – for is not your honour my honour? And is not your friendship the pride of my life? [L229.1]And she’s the only person Lovelace has ever been nervous about. Oh this devilish Miss Howe! – Something must be resolved upon, and done with that little fury! [L229]Although Anna Howe is not the heroine of the story, nor the model of conduct that Richardson suggests we follow, one thing is clear: if Clarissa had followed Anna’s example or advice at any single point – if she had kept her inheritance as Anna advised, or asked for it back when Anna suggested, or fled when Anna told her to, or gone along with Anna’s escape plan, or borrowed Anna’s money, or taken the house in the country that Anna offered her – she would be in much better shape than she is at present. In this instructional novel, Clarissa is showing us how to be an ‘angel of a woman’ and die young. Anna Howe, arguably the book’s most likeable character, shows us how to be a spirited survivor. Which one of these examples did Richardson really think we would want to follow? Update 11/24God, she’s so annoying. Her whole existence is one big chorus of “They’ll all be sorry when I’m dead,” and everybody but her nasty sister and shitty uncles seems to be eating it up. This is an annoying person’s favorite fantasy, right? When I tell them my story, everyone will feel so sad for me and they’ll all be on my side? And if they forget about your drama for one second, you can always remind them that, you know, you’ll be dead soon. All she’s done lately is go buy herself a tombstone (not kidding) and then come home to write letters in which she hints, oh so bravely, at her inexplicable impending demise. Lovelace’s friend took an interest in her, so she took the very proactive step of making him her executor. Because, you know, she’ll be dead soon. Lovelace got all excited after she wrote him a letter promising to see him in her ‘father’s house.’ But she didn’t mean her family home, she meant heaven! (Oh, Clarissa, you tragic trickster.) And then there's the scene where she gathers her doctor, her pharmacist, and Lovelace’s friend together and asks them how long they think she has left. Her doctor says if people continue to be so mean to her, he gives her only three weeks. Apparently his med school instructors shared Clarissa’s belief that 19-year-olds in perfect health can die because they are pissed off.Clarissa has lately been writing a lot of “meditations.” They are collections of lines from the Bible (usually Job), all mixed up. An excerpt: Meditation“Oh that my grief were thoroughly weighed, and my calamity laid in the balance together!For now it would be heavier than the sand of the sea: therefore my words are swallowed up. For the arrows of the Almighty are within me; the poison whereof drinketh up my spirit.”It goes on. Need I go on? I need not. In honor of Clarissa, and all that her suffering has made me suffer, I offer my own “meditation.”MeditationOh may Richardson have mercy on my weary soul; for I have suffered 1265 pages, and would liketh less whining and more action. Not of the horrible, sexual assault kind: but any other kind would be great.Lord grant me the strength to readeth the remaining words; other books, even old catalogs, grow tempting.Meanwhile, Clarissa has once again refused a chance to go to America -- this time she rejected a very specific plan to situate her in Pennsylvania with a friend of the family. You know how this wasted opportunity disappoints me. Vocab Rehab:Plaguy -- a stand in for ‘damn’ or 'damned' but meaning specifically that the thing being cursed is irritating. “They followed me muttering, and in a plaguy flutter.” – LovelaceI just discovered a glossary at the back of my book, (how did I miss that?), but it has hardly any of the good words. In this case it goes straight from pius (you can guess) to play me booty (be false to me for gain.) Update 11/12Page 1155, and bones to pick with both Richardson and Clarissa. Richardson’s main crime, of course, is this whole book. He is not forgiven. In addition, he been guilty throughout of excessive footnoting, usually referring us to previous letters. I was perfectly happy checking and ignoring these footnotes until this one, in letter 359. “You set before me your reasons, enforced by the opinion of your honored mother, why I should think of Mr. Lovelace for a husband.” [b][b] See the preceding letter. The preceding letter? After all this time, after 359 of your precious letters, you doubt my ability to recall the one I just read? And check out this list of guests at a party. If you read it out loud, it is extra ridiculous. “Many ladies and gentleman were there, whom you know; particularly Miss Kitty D’Oily, Miss Lloyd, Miss Biddy D’Ollyffe, Miss Biddulph….” It’s like he could think of only one fake name for a throwaway character, and decided he would just rearrange the letters and go with variations to get the rest of his list.But Richardson is working harder than his Clarissa, who is still sitting around writing letters and hoping to wake up dead. It’s hard that marrying her attacker, and thereby putting herself in his power for ever, is seen by her friends as her best course of action. But her refusal to take another offered course -- like moving to a country house near her friend, or, you know, eating something –- doesn’t endear her. Instead, she makes a big show of wanting to return Lovelace's old letters -- and wanting his friend to disclose portions of his current letters. She also expends some energy explaining the difference between trying to die (which she insists she’s not doing) and just not being real excited about living. She has set the over/under on her own life expectancy at one year. Her passive-aggressive deathiness is tedious. And I suspect that she's enjoying it.Other happenings in Clarissa-land: Lovelace thinks Clarissa is pregnant, based on suggestive imagery in a ‘mediation’ she wrote. And, unfortunately, that would totally explain her symptoms. Clarissa’s friend ran into Lovelace at a party and yelled at him. She ‘snapped her fan’ at him and blew the powder off his wig and everyone laughed. You go, girl. Lovelace is now plotting to dress up as a clergyman and show up at Clarissa’s bedside to administer her last rights, if needful. That would send her over the edge for sure. Update 11/7Page 1104. Clarissa is back with me. I missed her while she was gone, and now I take her everywhere -- on the train, to lunch, to the nail salon, on trips. Apparently contemporary readers used to bring their Clarissa volumes to parties and flash them at each other like a secret handshake. I totally get that. Here’s what’s happened. Lovelace plotted another attempt (one rape apparently being insufficient) and she put him off by whipping out a pen knife and threatened to stab herself. I was so proud of her. I felt like maybe she was listening to my advice, but for the fact that the knife was aimed at the wrong person. Afterwards, she escaped again (yay!) but the shady ladies found her (boo) and had her arrested for unpaid rent (for the place where she was held captive, very nice). They assumed Lovelace would approve of this move, which seems like a safe bet to me, but he was horrified. He sent his friend to pay the debt and bail her out. Prison for rich people, btw, is apparently a private room in a shabby house, where the jailer and his wife are anxious that you’re getting enough to eat; despite Clarissa’s poignant, PTSD-like security concerns, I frankly think it could have been worse. But Clarissa doesn't agree, and has now resolved to up and die, having had quite enough of everyone’s bullshit. Lovelace’s relations have appealed to Clarissa’s Friend to pressure her to marry Lovelace, which she is doing, but with no success. I am too into at this point to really think critically. Only a normal-sized book left to go. What am I going to do when this is over?Questionable Lesson 7: It is better to starve and cry yourself to death than to accept some pity money and hop a boat to America, where you could potentially start a thriving muff glove business.Update 10/15This will work. I'm probably somewhere in Volume III anyway. There was a point when, after exceeding the limits of the Goodreads format, I would have taken the hint and stopped. But I'm way past that point now. And frankly there are a few things I need to get off my chest. Page 940. Spoiler alert. Not for the faint of heart. I guess some readers know about this from the beginning, but I did not. As we learn from a chillingly brief two-line letter, Lovelace has drugged Clarissa and raped her. I honestly didn’t think he would do it. The last male Richardson character I read was repeatedly thwarted because the object of his desire kept fainting, and he preferred his love interests to be awake. Lovelace has no such scruples. Unbelievably, even after the rape, they are still arguing about marriage. Lovelace pursues the subject, not because he really intends to marry her (he’d rather ‘cohabitate,’ which is sounding increasingly like the plot of a horror movie), but because he thinks pleading and wheedling for wedlock will calm her down. But the topic does not calm her down. Clarissa says that her ‘honour’ is gone now, making her unfit for marriage, and his willingness to marry her is a further crime against morality. I’m surprised this is her primary objection… and I refuse to think about it. For his part, Lovelace is dissatisfied with his progress, because he complains that only Clarissa’s body was violated, not her ‘will.’ He continues to have fantasies about impregnating Clarissa AND her friend and turning them into a fertile harem of sorts. If you feel like your head is about to explode after reading this paragraph…yes, it is. Better find a doctor. She has made several more attempts to escape (he’s got her back at that house of ill repute), but the shady ladies are helping Lovelace, and it seems that any person at all standing in front of a door can prevent Clarissa from opening it and stepping outside. I think even a basket of kittens in the hallway would cause her to turn back, weeping. I know...it’s not like she knows Judo or anything. And her corsets are probably really tight. The book is overdue. I can’t renew it again. Part of me doesn’t want to let Clarissa go [insert uncomfortable Lovelace comparison here] and the other part of me can’t wait to get this mindfucking monstrosity out of my house for a day or two.Clarissa’s faint count: totally thrown off by whatever drug they gave her. And seriously, at this point she can faint as much as she wants, I won’t judge.Questionable Lesson 6: Nice ladies don’t throw punches or carry weapons.Let’s have some game therapy. The following are titles of essays about Clarissa. Three are real, one I made up. Can you guess which is the fakey?--"I Shall Enter Her Heart": Fetishizing Feeling in Clarissa.--Courting Death: Necrophilia in Samuel Richardson's Clarissa. --What the Hell Is Going On Around Here? Clarissa, a Modern Reader, and a Pounding Headache.--Before I Read Clarissa I Was Nobody: Aspirational Reading and Samuel Richardson's Great Novel**Hint: This one is real, and it is awesome.
What do You think about Clarissa; Or, The History Of A Young Lady - Volume 3 (of 9) (2012)?
