Close To The Knives: A Memoir Of Disintegration (1991) - Plot & Excerpts
this abrasive, masterfully written, self-eviscerating, entirely unsentimental memoir is one that is practically boiling over with anger and lust and menace. it was an influential book in its own place and time... much like wojnarowicz's equally visceral yet haunting art. the free-flowing, stream of conscious writing recounts the author's life, his dreams, ambitions, failures, life on the streets, life with men, and - quite memorably - his dark and vindictive fantasies of vengeance on those who would limit the freedom of queers and treat the aids community as anathema. best of all, running through it all: a warm, glowing seam of compassion and tenderness, particuarly for those who are awkward, weak, physically imperfect, alienated, rootless, out of balance: the un-beautiful.back in college, this was considered a profound work of art by me and my small distaff group of literary friends (i wonder what happened to them all?)...i also remember trying to explain this author and his impact on me to other, closer, yet more fratty and mainstream friends. to no avail. they could understand and appreciate alan moore or herman hesse but apparently wojnarowicz was too intense for them, too queer. all they could focus on was the fact that one of his works became the cover of a U2 album. ah well. perhaps this book is destined to mainly be appreciated by queers who are impacted by aids and those who live and breathe outsider politics.outside of this work and his various art pieces, the author can be viewed literally sewing his mouth shut in the unsettling gonzo provocation Silence=Death by rosa von praunheim (agent provocateur for gay rights in germany) - a video which also features the equally seminal keith haring and allen ginsberg, as well as some emotional aids quilt commentary and a painfully resonant deathbed testimonial.david wojnarowicz, you were a beautiful human being. you may be gone but will hopefully never be forgotten!
I really didn't know what to expect with this book, but found it unsettling for many reasons. It is primarily a memoir of Wojnarowicz's life in the 80s during the height of the onset of the AIDS crisis. It is set in NYC and mostly in the East Village. I lived there too then and Wojnarowicz and I ran in the same circles. I recognized some of the people that he was talking about even though he had changed the names. It is powerfully written for the most part and there is no question that it brought up many memories for me, not all of them particularly pleasant. It reminded me of the fear and anger of those days. It reminded me of a lot of people long gone and a lot of the outrageous things that people in the government and in religious organizations said about AIDS and gay people at the time and of all the infuriating actions/inactions of the same people. I was pretty good friends with at least three of the people that were in Wojnarowicz's band, "Three Teens Kill Four" but I never knew him and the book made me wish that I had. There are times when he is just raging in a real early ACT-UP manner. This is when his writing is the weakest. There are many incredibly written parts where he is poetic and hard-hitting at the same time. In the end, though I am glad I read the book, it may have been too soon and the wounds of those years still too raw. I would reccommend this book to anyone who is curious about life in NYC's burgeoning East Village in the 80s, that along with the West Village was perhaps ground zero of the AIDS crisis in NY.
What do You think about Close To The Knives: A Memoir Of Disintegration (1991)?
Anything by or about David Wojnarowicz takes me forever to read. But I attribute that to taking my time with the densely rich life and knowledge of a great artist. Close to the Knives is a haunting memoir of a powerful voice during a time that seemed to affect a niche community, but has had larger social implications. Wojnarowicz goes from sensual, enticing imagery of gay sex to hurtful tellings of the damage of the AIDS epidemic and those who looked away. It's a must read for anyone and everyone. Stories like these need to be told.
—Alfredo Ruiz
Wojnarowicz's story is a story we all need to read. A friend of mine put it succinctly "his book is about love and rage". The way he writes is really visceral, taking you back in time to cruising at the New York piers in the 70's and early 80's and what it was like to lose those you love to AIDS in a time when society completely turned their backs. His essays about living as a gay man and an artist with HIV in the 80's is heartwrenching and inspiring. I appreciated the way he called out the likes of Ed Koch and Jesse Helms and their murderous ways. I also loved the ways he made immortal his loved ones who were brilliant but unsung. While recently visiting NYC, I had the opportunity to see a series of his paintings in the MOMA's permanent collection. They are raw and beautiful and politically charged just like his writings.
—Ivy Jeanne
"Of course, those in power count on the fact that we are stuck inside these gravity vehicles called bodies. The pressure that gravity sustains on our bodies keeps us crawling around in this preinvented existence with the neighbors split-rail fencing preventing us from crawling out. The pressure for escape has led us from our tadpole ancestors through time till now to develop an appetite for speed. Speed of consumption, speed of physical movement, speed of transmitting and receiving information. Since speed is a luxury for those who have power and money, many of us have traded physical speed for fantasy like this mental projection: surround ourselves with material goods and maybe we won't see the stinking mess outside the windows, if we are lucky enough to have windows. It is no accident that every guidebook in every conceivable language contains the translated phrase: DO YOU HAVE A ROOM WITH A BETTER VIEW?"
—Eric
