2 Coach Hyatt Is Mean Girls aren’t supposed to be football coaches! That’s a scientific fact. What do girls know about pushing and shoving and knocking kids on their butts? Girls only care about puppies and butterflies, and what color nail polish they have on. But the lady who got out of the Mini Cooper was Coach Hyatt. I knew because she had a big name tag on her shirt that said MY NAME IS COACH HYATT. She blew her whistle. “Line up!” Coach Hyatt barked. We all looked at her. I wasn’t about to line up for some lady coach. Ladies don’t know the first thing about football. My mom thinks that sacking the quarterback means you put a bag over his head. Like I said, moms are weird. Coach Hyatt blew her whistle again. “I SAID, ‘LINE UP!’” We all lined up. Coach Hyatt looked mean. We were all shaking and shivering and quivering. “Now listen up!” she barked. “This is my son, Wyatt. He’s on the team, whether you like it or not.” Wyatt Hyatt? I knew right away this kid was weird.
