Dear Lover: A Woman's Guide To Men, Sex, And Love's Deepest Bliss (2006) - Plot & Excerpts
an "advanced guide" to sacred intimacy for women, you say? really, DD? this is all you could come up with? this book is basically the same 3 sentences arranged and rearranged in slightly different permutations over and over for 170 pages. and those 3 sentences are nauseating. i am baffled by reviewers who say they have never felt more understood and that he's so in touch with the female psyche, etc. where did he come up with this and why is he passing off his personal fantasies as spiritual revelation? i found nothing useful in this book, which would have been okay if it had been sexy or arousing. rather, his concepts of spiritual sexuality are grounded in a very narrow gender binary that casts women as emotionally labile and immature in a way i do not wish to experience myself (though realistically i do sometimes and will continue to do so, but i don't see it as my feminine essence) even if Deida insists that my raging, screaming, crying fits--if expressing my emotions as they arise in the moment rather than venting accumulated tension--is helping to keep my man in integrity with his heart's true direction as it is my role to surrender in complete openness to being ravished into God and to allow him to lead us through life while i worship and offer my devotion to him and let my love-light shine so he may have full claim on my heart. i have loved the masculine and feminine in myself and my partner(s)...energies that dance in a much more nuanced way than in this old school vision of man and woman that Deida outlines. sex is more sacred, more secular and much hotter than this cheesy, creepy, and redundant book makes it out to be.
What a crock of (*&%$! Clearly Mr. Deida has a very specific audience in mind, and it doesn't include anyone with a holistic/ genderless perspective on human beings. His assumptions of what is female and male are subtly patronizing and downright offensive. It isn't a guide at all. There are no points or steps suggesting anything other than"have sex to be more open" . Open to WHAT?! More importantly, why are women expected to enjoy being "ravished" and "claimed" by love ? This is life, not a cheesy romance novel. The fact that Mr. Deida's trying to pass it off as spiritual, while having a non-liability clause at the beginning of the book, is simply idiotic. I am wholly disappointed that Marianne Williamson wrote the forward. I'm hoping she didn't actually read this pile of garbage.
What do You think about Dear Lover: A Woman's Guide To Men, Sex, And Love's Deepest Bliss (2006)?
1 hvězdička za pár vtipných poznámek (které ale podle všeho vtipné být neměly), za několik málo poznatků, které seděly jak hrnec na prdel (ale opravdu jenom málo a které vzápětí stejně zabil něčím jiným) a za rozšíření slovní zásoby o výrazy typu "jsi láska", "upřímná touha tvého srdce" a "otevíráš se touhou".Prvních 4-5 kapitol jsem brečela smíchy, poslední tři kapitoly už přeskakuju celé odstavce a přemýšlím o tom, jak co nejrychleji spáchat sebevraždu.Opravdu? Tohle má být ten "revoluční myšlenkář" a "nový šaman lásky"? Celá kniha jenom omýlá pár vět - vystačily by na maximálně tři kapitoly (i s úvodem a doslovem), a byla bych spokojená. Všechny kapitoly vypadají a znějí stejně/podobně. Škoda papíru a peněz, vážně lidi. Takový 50 Shades pro fanoušky New Age a rádoby mystična (nebo pro skutečné masochisty).Děsím se té další knihy, kterou jsem si koupila čistě z hajpu.
—Nicole
A little repetitive and not super detailed, but the high-level insights were very illuminating. The bottom line is that women often build a "career shell" to mask not feeling loved. He is NOT saying that it is bad to have a career, but he is saying not to lose your radiance, joy and love for the world within it, which I think makes sense. The book is heart-breakingly true at parts, a little starry-eyed optimistic at others (do these men exist?! I'm holding out for yes :) but mostly very inspirational.
—Jenny
