I was not the first student to do so – there had been some other examples, all involving mishaps with that early generation of sunless self-tanners – but I was the first one to achieve a full-body neon effect. Everything but my eyes, teeth, and hair took on the jaundiced hue of a wilting tiger lily. In short order I had a new nickname, “Orange Girl,” and an appointment with my pediatrician. The examination was brief. “She’s orange, all right,” the doctor agreed. A few questions later he ascertained what was wrong. I’d been eating little besides carrots and cantaloupe. The overdose of carotene had resulted in carotenosis, a relatively harmless condition in which the skin turns a deep yellowish orange. As far as pigmentation goes, it turns out the you-are-what-you-eat axiom is pretty literal. It’s a diet of shrimp that makes flamingos pink, of reddish crustaceans that makes salmon salmon. I wasn’t too happy with my current predicament – I looked bad in orange – but I was excited about the possibilities.
