I was totally knackered. We’d been on patrol until the early hours escorting a convoy of petroleum trucks down from Turkey again. I was awoken by Stu banging like fuck on my door and shouting about getting my lazy arse out of bed or I’d be late for breakfast. Now, to tell you the truth, my ideal morning routine, if I’m not going for a run or doing some gym work, is a nice, long, red-hot shower followed by two or three cups of coffee and some beans on toast. I had none of that this morning. I was late. I chucked on my trousers and T-shirt and legged it out of my room. It was still dark. I couldn’t figure it out. Why was it still dark? Then it dawned on me: the other guys had sneaked into my room and altered my alarm clock by an hour and a half while we had been out on patrol. Then, when the other patrol had come in from another mission, they banged on my door at around 05.00. ‘That’ll teach you to take so fucking long in the showers Mercer!’ Stu said, cracking up. ‘Arseholes!’ I said, slamming my door and getting undressed again.
What do You think about Dirty Deeds Done Cheap (2011)?
