I’ve never really been on a date in my life. Yeah, I know. Crazy, right? Not like anyone would believe me because… well, even though I don’t date, I definitely get girls. Which everyone knows. Which makes people believe I’m taking girls out left and right, but I’m not. Now that I think about it, it kind of makes me feel like a jerk. But then again, why do guys always have to ask the girls out on dates? It isn't like Chastity would ever come up to me and say, “Hey, Dylan. How about dinner and a movie?” No. With her hand inching toward my crotch, she says stuff like, “Hey, maybe we can hang out tonight,” which may sound similar, but it’s definitely not the same thing. Now I can’t stop wondering if I went on a date last night with Ziah. We did the dinner thing—for the second time. We watched a movie. After our first dinner, we sat on Mary and talked about the secrets of the universe and shit. Okay, maybe just the secrets of Dylan, but pretty close.
