I want to go to her and pull her into my arms and promise to never let anything hurt her again, but I know that’s the last thing she needs right now from me. I know she hates and fears me because of what transpired earlier. I don’t blame her, but it still hurts like a bitch. Seeing the fear in her eyes and having her confirm that fear, knowing I put that fear there, sucked all the breath from my lungs. I’ve never felt such pain as I did when she said I was scaring her. This is part of the reason why I waited so long to come forward. I just hope I’m so deep in her heart she can eventually forgive me and learn to trust me again. I don’t want to leave Texas. This is the place I finally got to be myself with Poppy. It’s the place that I showed her my true feelings. The past few days have been some of the best in my life. But I know she needs time. I walk back out on the balcony and grab my bottle of scotch, foregoing the glass this time.
