Stopped emailing Dad begging him to let me leave. Stopped trying to get Slade to notice me. I think I’m depressed. Being depressed is a new concept for me. Sure, I had plenty to be depressed about growing up without a mother and living with an overbearing father. But it was my life. And even though most wouldn’t understand it, I truly did love it. Now that I’m in this new life, I feel like a prisoner. Slade is the warden and he rules with an iron fist. The only opportunities I’ve had to be me, Joss, are when I’m in front of that old piano downstairs. It’s the only thing that keeps me going every day. My mind flits to Jack. I’ve spent a lot of time with him over the past week. And even though I can’t truly be myself around him, I enjoy his company. Poor guy wants to know me so badly, and I wish I could give that to him. Instead, I’ve spun lie after lie about my past, upbringing, and plans for my future. He seems to sniff out my lies but never calls me on them. One day, after this all blows over, maybe I’ll come clean to Jack.
