I’ve done it once and I promised myself if given another opportunity, I’d never do it again. But this is what she wants and I cannot fight that. Listening to her talk about Bain and how happy she is, plus feeling how disconnected she was in my arms today was all of the reassurance I needed to know that for now I have to let her go. Even though I don’t want to, I have to. In life, one of the cruelest lessons you learn is that sometimes the right decision is the hardest one to make. Sitting in the car with my dad as we head to one of my appointments, both of us are silent. What can I say? He knows me well enough to tell by the look on my face that I just need some space right now. In all honesty, I’d be lying if I said that this is something that I didn’t expect. Because I did, from the moment in Germany when she didn’t arrive with my parents. But like I said to her, I’m in no shape to take care of her or anyone else for that matter. I’m fucked up, not only physically, but also mentally.
