June 13, 2002 Months passed and I stayed in Shelton following Parker’s recovery through Kurt and Justin. I stalked them, and the internet, in hopes that I could be closer to Parker, a place I couldn’t be physically. And though I didn’t deserve to know, they kept me updated. I couldn’t walk away completely for the same reason Parker didn’t walk away when he found out I was dating Sean. I wanted to be there for him, but if Sean saw me leave, he’d know why I was leaving. After I saw Parker in Washougal last July, I told myself I wasn’t going to continue to put myself through it. The night before his injury in Anaheim, I had a conversation with Kayla. She told me they were together when we weren’t and it made me realize how childish we were being. I wasn’t a pro ho and refused to be treated like some girl who was just readily available, even though I was. How was it fair to him that I was technically with another man when I wasn’t with him? When I left the morning of the season opener and he crashed, I felt guilty.
