When Fyodor Dostoevsky was arrested for affiliation with the 19th century Russian Nihilist movement, he was marched out and forced to stand before the firing squad. The ceremonial sword was cracked above his head, a sign that his execution was about to begin. He squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the end – but it never came. It turned out to be a farce, and his true punishment was to be faced with the fear of death, rather than his actual demise. It was a warning, letting him know what would come if he continued such anti-governmental associations. Then he was sent into exile in Siberia. In being forced by my supposed 'friend' to read this book, I too faced a sort of metaphorical firing squad. I could almost hear the sword cracking over my head as I accepted my dark fate. And just like Dostoevsky, I was a misguided youth getting caught up in something of which I hardly understood the repercussions. But unlike Dostoevsky, I received no reprieve. Indeed, I was forced to suffer through each and every moment of this book – and every moment was like another bullet flying toward me. I may even go into exile after this experience, to recover. The very fact that I know biographical details of Dostoevsky proves I should not have had to suffer through such a book.What astonishes me is that this instalment seems to have been rated more highly than book 1 - yet I thought this was so much worse. What, really, happens??? Nothing. For 300 pages. Wait. Wait. I apologise. They do whine a lot about how they can't have sex. And our irritating heroine hops on planes at the drop of a hat and jets off to France and Germany without a passport, luggage, money or a plane ticket. Otherwise…nothing. NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING.Bryn and William come back from doing something vague and never mentioned again. There's supposedly some intrigue, but we never find out what it is. Bryn and William aren't allowed to marry, but we're never given a reason why. Bryn decides she should leave William, to protect him (why?), so she tells his brother she doesn't really love William. It's so obvious she's doing it to get away. Yet Patrick is too stupid to realise. She jets off to France. She runs into Paul from the US. In France. They work together at an American-run bar, and never have to speak French. They get attacked by someone. It goes nowhere. They go to Germany to stay at William's chalet. Paul tells her he's dying. She's determined to make him immortal. I don't know why because he's an ass and, frankly, a rapist. I'm not exaggerating. Yet she finds him charming for it. And she barely knows him, but she's now living with him and desperate to keep him alive and calls him a friend. Why??? Then there's a lot of arguing and 'kicking butt' and 'you're an idiot' and 'shut up' for about 150 pages. And in the end, nothing happens. There. Sound worthy of over 4 stars? REALLY???And as much as I protest, I'm going to be forced to read book 3, as well. Sigh. I hear the click of those Russian rifles as I type this.So as I did with book 1, I'm just going to list the ridiculous lines I read that had me rolling my eyes or rolling with laughter - or a combination of both:* I rolled over in the twin-size bed—strategically selected, no doubt* smiling the one he knew would undue my resolve ten days out of ten [IT SEEMS WE'RE BACK TO HER OVERUSE OF THE WORD 'RESOLVE' - AND I LOVE THAT SHE WROTE 'UNDUE' - AND HOW BADLY CONSTRUCTED THE SENTENCE IS, IN GENERAL]* There was too much emotion circling around me to contain their release. I was sweltering in it. [SWELTERING??]* The burst of his heart shunned the two layers of cotton separating our bodies.* He groaned with his lips still adhered to mine. [CLASSIC EXAMPLE OF OVERUSE OF A THESAURUS]* Yet another thorn in my side senactually, [WHAT??????]* plugging an equation into their dimwitted minds and shooting an answer out their butts. It was a bunch of bull to me [what, not poppycock or derriers?]* Patrick smiled one that was the devil incarnate at me. [Smiled one??? This whole sentence needs reconstructing]* The sooner I was done with Patrick, the sooner I could skinny-dip with William.* a classic Bryn situation, also known as a lose-lose situation. My Mortal vex had followed me into Immortality.* William, and me sans clothing,* I felt warmth and a male presence, but neither was being emitted from the one who should have been beside me at this unholy hour in my bed while I was a quarter of a yard of lycra away from being naked.* “What if one day he wakes up and decides he’s tired of fighting and that I’m not really worth it in the end? [ENOUGH WITH THE SELF-PITY!!!]* closed my eyes and circled my index finger in the air. My erratic circle making stopped and I pointed at some location in the world that would become home sweet home, or at least home sweet now. When I opened my eyes, a laugh escaped my throat, although it sounded everything but benign. “Paris,” I muttered, shaking my head. Perfect, I thought The city of love . . . Score: Fate—1, Bryn—Zippo. [APPARENTLY IT'S REALLY EASY TO MOVE TO PARIS ON A WHIM - AND LUCKILY FOR HER…AN AMERICAN BAR!]* Knowing Rue St. Denis’ reputation—and it wasn’t for its croissants or berets— from a vacation I’d taken with my parents when I was sixteen, I’d expected to find a space to rent for next to nothing. Like most things, I was immensely mistaken. I couldn’t comprehend how an eighteen by twenty square foot studio with a mouse hole for a bathroom in the red light district of Paris could go for as much as one of those zippy little Cessna’s I dodged on a daily basis. [WHY DID HER PARENTS TAKE HER TO THE RED LIGHT DISTRICTt??????????????]* “Here’s to popping your cherry at the Rue St. Jersey.”* “Bite me.” [WHERE IS THIS LANGUAGE COMING FROM, NOW? DID I SWITCH BOOKS AND NOT REALISE?]* “Pardon my French.” [AS IF ANYTHING FRENCH HAS APPEARED IN THIS BIZARRE NOTION OF PARIS]* we both sucked in a long breath. “I don’t know how you do it,” he said, sucking in another one. “I found myself gagging a few dozen times in there.” “I don’t breath,” I answered [YET THEY BOTH SUCKED IN A LONG BREATH - AND BTW, THAT'S NOT HOW YOU SPELL 'BREATHE']* He shrugged his shoulders. “My dad’s an officer in the Marines and deployed nine months of the year—more if he can help it—so he didn’t care if I was at OSU or in Timbuktu.” I hadn’t known that either—some friend I was. [THIS IS ABOUT PAUL - BUT THEY WERE NEVER FRIENDS - BRYN HATED HIM - AND SOMEHOW SHE'S RANDOMLY RUN INTO HIM…IN PARIS…IN AN AMERICAN BAR - I BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS MORE THAN I BELIEVE IN THE COURSE OF EVENTS IN THIS BOOK]* I’m about to unleash a serious case of ass-whooping.” ['BUTT' IS HER NEW 'RESOLVE']* ass-whooping commencing.”* He looked at me with the same wide-eyed speculation he had in the diner when I’d stopped his charge at William like he were as ferocious as a charging lamb. [UM….]* Germany was everything and nothing I expected it to be. [CANNOT WAIT FOR HER TERRIBLE GERMAN]* “Give me another sec,” I called out, rushing to the petrified picnic on the carpet. I grabbed up the dishes, along with the copy of the Sentinel, before racing into the kitchen and tucking them into the first cabinet I opened. Could I have tossed the months old bagel in the garbage? Yeah. Should I have? Absolutely. But there was some crazy part of me that couldn’t throw another piece of him away. [EW!!!]* “If I didn’t know you better, that might have actually hurt my feelings, Bryn,” [THIS IS PAUL - WHO DIDN'T KNOW HER AT ALL, BTW]* “This is your captain speaking—Captain Gustav [SO RANDOM - THERE WAS A GUSTAV IN BOOK 1, TOO, FOR NO REASON, AND THAT MADE ME LAUGH, TOO]* I froze mid-stride. “Guten tag?” I said, waving my hand unsurely. [SERIOUSLY - EVERYONE USES 'HELLO' ALL OVER THE WORLD - THE WORD WAS INVENTED AS A GREETING FOR THE TELEPHONE - LEARN HISTORY AND ACTUALLY BOTHER TO RESEARCH WHAT YOU'RE WRITING ABOUT]* You were given this gift for a reason [WHAT GIFT DOES BRYN HAVE, OTHER THAN EXCEPTIONAL LAMENESS?]* “O-kay,” I said, “so in non-philosophical terms, what’s our plan?”* busting our butts* I had an urge—that I thankfully repressed—to kiss Patrick square on the lips. [WHY??? SHE'S SUCH A HUSSY!]* “Be ready for a serious butt kicking.”* Paul’s tan skin was gray, his cheekbones so sunken he looked more skeleton than flesh and blood. He was curled in a ball, wrapped around a garbage can that smelt like death. [THIS IS DUE TO HIM HAVING CANCER - HE CHANGED TO THIS DEGREE IN ONE DAY - AFTER THE PREVIOUS DAY HE WAS OUT KICKING BUTT - I FIND THIS INSULTING TO ALL CANCER VICTIMS]* I powered on his phone, not sure if hitting 911 would get me anyone in Germany, but figuring it was a good first start. [SERIOUSLY, HOW STUPID IS SHE!? ANYONE WITH HALF A BRAIN WOULD TRY 0 FOR THE OPERATOR!]* I sighed against my best intentions not too.* “toss that Boredom-lopedia in the fireplace.”* Probably not one of my best moments. [AS IF BRYN HAS ANY GOOD MOMENTS]* “Please tell me you have a plan,” I said, watching the last black scraps disappear. “Any plan.” “I’m not a plan type of man,” [THIS HAPPENED IN BOOK 1 - AND AS IN THAT BOOK, THERE WAS NO PLAN IN BOOK 2 - PROBABLY BECAUSE THE AUTHOR HAD NO PLAN...OR PLOT]* “Cross my heart and hope to die.” [PLEASE PLEASE LET HER DIE]* “Genius can’t be rushed. [IF SHE SAYS SO!]* you want to bang your own head with the hammer.” [I DO. SOMEONE GET ME A HAMMER.]* My eyes looked like dull marbles buried in deep hollows, accompanied by sunken cheeks that looked rouged with ash. [UM. ASH IS GREY, NOT RED. THIS IS CLEARLY WHY YOU DIDN'T BOTHER TRYING TO SPEAK FRENCH IN PARIS.]* a dream-rummy voice. [WHAT????]* “You and I might have the most destructive constructive relationship in known existence.* “Mmmm,”—he nestled his face into my hair—“I’m dead, aren’t I?” he asked, his voice hoarse from the extended sleep. I shook my head, burying it deeper into his chest. His arms responded by pulling me tighter. “Surely this is Heaven.” [SOMEONE GET ME A BUCKET]* couldn’t waste any more time helping him ascertain reality.* I’d fallen into a semi-coma the past twelve hours after losing William all over again. [WHICH WAS HER OWN FAULT FOR BEING A LIAR!]* payback wasn’t just a bitch, it was a bitch dressed in heels and Versace.* her hand loosening infinitesimally,* “She’s aliiiiiiive!” Patrick’s voice burst through the trees, his arm beckoning the sky in a Mary Shelly kind of way. [SERIOUSLY. AT LEAST LOOK UP HER NAME TO CHECK THE SPELLING.]* “I’m surrounded by morons,” I muttered [LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE, BRYN]* I picked out a stunning pair of suede shorts that were short for a teenage girl, a t-shirt depicting an ample female bust in a tiny bikini top striped with the colors of the German flag, and a pair of clogs—two sizes too small—to finish off the masterpiece. [CLOGS ARE DUTCH!!!]* “The only person more dense than him is you.” [SO TRUE]* NICARAQUA [HOW HARD IS IT TO CHECK THE SPELLING OF THIS? JUST RIGHT-CLICK IN WORD, EVEN!]* I didn’t speak Spanish [SHE BARELY SPEAKS ENGLISH]* His hair hidden beneath a handkerchief, his mouth behind a paper mask, his eyes rimmed with dirt, sweat, and sleepless nights I’d never been so blinded by his beauty. [DID I SWITCH BOOKS AGAIN?]* The way William cradled the baby to him, firm but gentle, would have sent my internal clock into a tailspin if it wasn’t on eternal time-delay.* I looked more Sasquatch than woman* “I’m Sierra,” she offered, staring up at Patrick. “Sierra,” he rolled the name around in his mouth, tasting it. “Now there’s a range of mountains I wouldn’t mind summiting.”* “Oh, my gosh. . .” I was incapable of offering anything more intelligent. [SMARTEST LINE IN THE BOOK!]* William, or Norberto-William, looked at me, hitching his hands on his hips, and flashed a smile that was scary similar to the one that made my body rush whenever William gave it. He winked. [WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?]* “Colorado?” he said, a note short of a holler. “That’s a good day away. No deal.” [YET IT WAS SO EASY TO GO TO FRANCE AND GERMANY!]* So we didn’t quite make it to the Texas border. We found ourselves tangled up before the Guatemalan dirt had flung itself off our shoes as soon as we crossed the border into Mexico. Tangled again in Texas, even more so in Colorado, and by the time we crossed into Montana [HOW DID THEY NOT MAKE THE TEXAS BORDER, YET SOMEHOW GET TO COLORADO???]* you can consider Bryn as good as Betrothed.” [OH GOOD GRIEF - I JUST WORKED OUT THE 'PLOT' TO BOOK 3 - THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE SEX. FOR 300 PAGES.]* Her eyes circumnavigated William like she was Columbus and she’d just discovered America. [THAT MEANS SHE LOOKED AROUND HIM, NOT AT HIM!!!!]* “What’s the worse that could happen? You end up Betrothed to me?” he said [THAT ACTUALLY SOUNDS LIKE HELL]* “Where are you two kids off to?” Patrick asked, at last ceasing his male stripper-esque moves since he’d lost his audience at hip thrust number two. * My stomach felt like it was dropping to the molten layer of the planet. [MINE TOO. MY BARF SHALL RUNNETH OVER LIKE LAVA, SOLIDIFYING MY SICKNESS FOR ALL THE EARTHLY WORLD TO WITNESS.]* following me around Europe at every turn?” [AGAIN HE'S A STALKER]* I bit my lip, reliving the German chalet going up in flames. “I’m really sorry about your house. I promise—” “Forget about it,” he said, his face unconcerned. “Besides, I’m sure I can think of a way you can repay me.” [APPARENTLY YOU CAN PAY SOMEONE BACK THE COST OF A CHALET…WITH SEX!]* “I can’t believe I’m going to say this, especially now that it appears I’ve finally worn you down.” [HE UNDID HER RESOLVE]* That sounds a little monumental, not to mention vague.” [LIKE EVERYTHING IN THIS BOOK]* what oil was to vinegar, I was to eloquence.* “I figure if we’re going to spend a good portion of our time out here star-gazing, we’ll need a lot of practice to ensure we don’t slide off if we’re . . . distracted.” [SLIDE OFF??? ALL I CAN THINK OF IS 'PONY' BY GINUWINE]* His moan was interrupted midstream by a holler, followed by his body sliding down and away. I don’t know if his foot caught hold in the rain-gutter or my hand grabbing his stopped his fall, but one thing was apparent either way. William was right about us needing practice, or harnesses, if we planned on making the steep angled roof a regular retreat for our post-Union romance. [CAN'T THEY USE A BED, LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE? THEY'RE GETTING BUSY ON A HILL]* saw a woman sprinting likes comet down Main Street. [COMETS DON'T SPRINT]* the mast masterful wince he was capable of* The prequel, Eternal Eden [IT WASN'T A PREQUEL, IT WAS BOOK 1!]------------------------------------------------------AND MY PERSONAL FAVOURITES:* How could anything be more enthralling than the man I loved washing his hands from the work of delivering a baby in the thick of a Central American jungle?* As any and every female could attest to, Paul had been good-looking in his Mortal life, but the passage into Immortality had enhanced him in such a way he could have been the result of a Swedish model mating with a Greek God. He was a Disney hero incarnate—wide, roguish smile and all. [I LOVE THAT SHE ENDS WITH DISNEY]* I heaved a sigh. “I was thinking about everything from why rainbows don’t last to which team’s going to win the Superbowl this year.”* “I told you, Norberto. [THAT IS SERIOUSLY SOMEONE'S NAME]* I was watching a man change, square-inch by square-inch before me [HE'S CUBOID????]* With the discipline of a rooster, I announced morning with a groan that rumbled my pillow* clown-sized cars careened into me. [HOW EXACTLY DOES ONE MEASURE CLOWNS? I MUST HAVE MISSED THAT LESSON IN PRIMARY SCHOOL MATHS]* Nicole loves hearing from her readers. [SHE WOULDN'T WANT TO HEAR FROM ME!] I will say it again... Where in the hell have I been! I can't believe this series has been out since 2011 and I am now just reading it. WTF!!! I would write more but gotta start the next book. Need to see what happens with William and Bryn. I have a sneaky feeling that Charles is very conniving and just tricked his son into something. Considering what Patrick said and how his father worded his words to William. I see family drama happening. I just hope it isn't what I think it is.
What do You think about Fallen Eden (2000)?
I loved this series. It had my crying tears of Joy and Sorrow.
—Adel
Ugh. Love the story line but the typos are snuffing it!
—sameerballer3
I am actually really enjoying this series.
—Germanjoik
