I tried explaining to her that I’m not that man anymore, where I would need to explore sexual options to satisfy myself. She’s all that I want and crave and I find I desire her even more because she’s pregnant. When she asked about my life with Alecia, at first I didn’t want to admit the details of our sexual activities, which crossed all boundaries for a marriage. As I peeled away the kinky details, Amanda became unsettled. I wanted to be above board with her and tell her the truth. But the truth may have harmed our relationship. I tried explaining to Amanda what I had with Alecia wasn’t the same thing I have with her. Alecia had me bound to her through the sexual activities she encouraged. She was the one who suggested that we engage in S&M. Alecia explained that it was the only way she could feel anything. I was young and in my twenties and Alecia was a beautiful matured woman in her thirties, and what she presented to me was exciting and sexually arousing at the time, and I fell into that lifestyle.
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