She was always too busy and too concerned about me to worry about herself. I realized that my life down here was pure Mom. I worked, I looked after my staff, I did my little part in these various homicide investigations, all so I wouldn’t have to do what I’d just done: reflect on my own life. Not that there was anything wrong with helping others. But if you put yourself on the sidelines, pretty soon there was no time left to do anything about your own life.I honestly didn’t know how to change that. I didn’t know if I could change it. I remember my mother saying how her mother was always taking on too much, especially things that were none of her business. Maybe it was in my DNA. But I decided, then, to try and give myself perspective instead of being swept along with the current. I’d keep a journal, and resolved to write down something new I’d learned every day—even if it was something small, like, “Mature shade trees actually have a personality” or “pulled pork causes acid reflux and makes me grepts.”
